Happy Birthday to Bode

Bode turned 5 on Wednesday. I've said this to others and i'll say it again. Five is so much older than four. I feel like i'm going to turn around and he'll be off to college in the blink of an eye.

But besides that, Wednesday was a great day. Doug and i put helium balloons in his room and taped paper streamers from the top of his door to the floor. He ate the traditional yellow cake with chocolate frosting with his breakfast. He brought cupcakes to his class. He had his first "real" party--with friends at an outside location. Not just family or close friends having a meal and cake at home.

I made three different cakes to accommodate his gluten-free status and have enough to go around at the birthday party. All yellow cake with chocolate frosting. I mean, you just can't go wrong with that combination.

We talked a lot with Bode about his birthday and his party. He was so incredibly excited for his big day. We did a countdown paper chain soon after Christmas so he could keep track. And boy, did he keep track and keep us informed each and every day! Since he shuns any extra attention, we talked to him about the fact that people will give him more on his birthday. That "Happy Birthday"'s will be said and are to be acknowledged, not shyly ignored. That songs will be sung to him. That he has to pay attention to his friends.

His party was at Pump It Up, one of those indoor inflatable playplaces. They are loud and chaotic and wonderfully fun. But in the not-so-distant past, places like this have stopped Bode in his tracks. He couldn't deal with the sights and sounds and activity around him. He's been back since and functioned really well, but wasn't expected to function well and deal with people paying attention to him. So i tried to prepare him and was curious to see how things would come together.

getting ready for their "race"

But i'm too tired to post about how well things went. So here is most of the email i wrote to Donna, his neurodevelopmental specialist, the woman who prescribed all of his programs that have made such a huge difference, to let her know. Half of the email is a general update on Bode and his progress that i'll include, too.

How's Bode, you ask? AWESOME. Where to start? Here's my very rambly report. We're working our way back up to the mile we were at with C/C (creeping/crawling). We had to travel last minute to help family in MO last week and i had him work on programs there, but it's never as much distance as when we're home. He did GREAT with the change in routine. My sister-in-law can't believe how well-behaved my children are. The last time we went out of town/had such a significant change in routine was August for the Aspen Grove family reunion, which was a total disaster. So i am thrilled with how he just rolled with things. His teacher told me, again, today, how great he is doing. How he's "opening up." Today he was teacher's helper. Passed some things out. Showed a classmate how to use his scissors (when asked by Ms. Jeri to do so). At church, he still has a hard time in sharing time. We missed two weeks because we were sick and then out of town. So when we went back last Sunday, he was very hesitant and mournful. Didn't want to sit. I sat him on my lap for literally 60 seconds then said goodbye, and he did fine. I talked to the Primary prez, and she said he does great in his individual class (he's talkative and will say the prayer and participate) but has a hard time in ST (which i knew). But that he sits quietly and seems to be "absorbing" (again, totally agree). She did say if they try to move him or something he's very resistant, so they know to just leave him be. If he were asked to give the talk or prayer, though? I don't see that happening just yet. There's just so much noise, so many kids and activity in ST. I don't know when he'll be comfortable in there. I'll be curious to see whether or not he'll stand at the front this Sunday and let them sing "Happy Birthday" to him??!!!...

.......

I can't do justice to describe how well he did at his party. Oh.my.gosh. We drove three of his friends and they had a blast in the van together (he'll often ignore friends even in his own car because it's painful for him to say hello for whatever reason). At the party he greeted his friends. He ran around and played with everyone and had a blast. He said, "Thank you" when people said happy birthday. He even responded to the PARENTS when they talked to him. We sang a rousing Happy Birthday song to which he said THANK YOU before blowing out the candles! He said goodbye to the kids as they left and thanks for coming. Anyway. One small thing that i noticed that made me happy. He wore a party hat. I saw him sitting in this big inflatable throne eating his cake with this big party hat on. In the not-so-distant past there would have been no way he would have done that. He just popped it on himself. Minor and silly maybe, but one of those big deals in my mind. (i actually stopped and pointed it out to a couple mom-friends to look at my child! look at how far he's come! :))

"I do. What a hat! I like it! I like that party hat!" ...


He also willingly talked to my parents on his birthday. This was before getting gifts and being threatened if he doesn't talk to them (just kidding. i don't do that. but it's tempting sometimes). This is a very rare occurrence and thrills my parents to no end. My mom actually called first and then called my dad at work to tell him B had talked to her, so my dad called right away. My dad used to totally not get Bode (loved him dearly but found him incredibly frustrating. Huh. Kind of like me!). He is so happy to hear about his progress and loves it when he'll talk to him.

So enough about the party. Noises? Still not great. We're at 70% with the now-that-i'm-doing-it-right program. He got all of them but ONE yesterday, but then missed a bunch today. Textures seem fine. He doesn't seem as bothered by the little sock bumps. I don't see him freaking out too much over messy food. etc. Transitions? Great for the most part. Either he'll just say OK and move on to the next thing or have a brief complaint and still comply. That reminds me of "well" in your brain development course...

OH! And he totally CHEATED during C/C yesterday. I couldn't believe it. He was at lap 17 of 35 and i don't always watch him all the way around, but i can hear him. And it was starting to sound short. And he'd come back into the room i was reading in and say, "I went all the way to the green (the start) and back." I got up and watched him and he was turning around at the doorway (way before the turn point). I told him he lost Hot Wheels privileges (he gets to play some PS2 Hot Wheels video games after he does his c/c) and that he'd have to start over from the beginning (he probably only cheated on 5 or 6 but this was the consequence). He lost it. Cried. Yelled at me. I managed to keep my cool (i am honestly so proud of myself with this experience). I repeated very calmly that he had lied and cheated and that there are consequences when we make poor choices and repeated what the consequence was. I told him i was still willing to read to him while he does all 35 laps and that he could find me in my room when he was ready. Less than 5 minutes later he was at my door to tell me he was ready. He did his laps. Had a good attitude. Got it done. And hopefully learned from it. In the past? This would have turned into an all-day ordeal. I would have been so close to child abuse and he would have ended up locked in his room kicking the door.

What else?...

We still have that low frustration tolerance issue (and if he says, "I CAN'T DO IT!" and swing his arms around one more time when he's asked to put on his coat i'm going to scream!). I think a lot of the time it's when he's hungry. Not to give him an excuse, but i do notice he seems to get that way right after school/before lunch. We've talked more about what we do when we get frustrated, and it seems to be helping. But he's definitely got a habit to break.

But i hear things when the boys are playing together like "Keegy, just try. Believe in yourself!" And "Keegs, YOU CAN DO IT!" So, he's hearing the positive talk. And he does try. But has a short fuse.

I can't get the italics to go away now. But this is me, not the email. After the party we had dinner at home (Bode requested pancakes, which was just about the right amount of effort i had left in me). He opened some family gifts (and responded with, "This is just what i wanted!" "I love this!" etc. So cute). It was, on many levels, a fantastic day.

the kids saying, "we love pump it up!"--some of the most DARLING children. gives me hope for the future!