Perspective

I do realize what a great life i have, and the many blessings i enjoy. Beautiful husband, children, home, friends and so much more. But i do find myself getting caught up in the day to day grind and my natural crabbiness and pessimistic leanings sometimes get the best of me. I try to be positive and fun for my children but i'm often out of energy. I've mentioned that i yell. A lot. I lack in the area of patience. But i do have good intentions.

When we got home from Utah, I was tired and sad and discouraged about some setbacks in Bode's progress. I got online and learned about NieNie and the terrible plane crash she and her husband were in. I found myself reading her previous blog posts and just loving the girl. So positive. Totally focusing on the good and beautiful things in her life. Her family has swooped in and taken care of her children while she and her hubby are in a burn unit. And they are positive and focusing on the good. Her sister's blog keeps readers up-to-date and i often find myself choking up over what she's written. Life is so fragile.

Then a family in a neighboring congregation just lost their home and for all practical purposes, everything, to a fire.

And i think, really, what do i have to complain about? Why can't i be just a little more patient? Why not do a few more loops around the train track with the boys? Can't i go with the flow a bit more? Why jump to conclusions and yell yell yell?

I want to be more like NieNie. Focusing less on the mundane and more on the good. Living in and more fully enjoying the moments. I've always thought i'm just not really wired that way. But i can change that, right?