We've been in Utah all week enjoying friends and family. We headed back toward Colorado yesterday morning. And once we hit Rawlins Wyoming, I-80 was CLOSED. There were a couple storms blowing in which we were aware of before we left (i suggested we take the southern route to I-70 a few times, but i'm not going to dwell on that!). Anywho. It stopped snowing last night around 8PM and we are now just waiting (and WAITING) for 80 to reopen.
Honestly, i'm surprised it was closed in the first place and very surprised it's not already reopened. But, trying not to complain...
Luckily, we were able to get a hotel room for the night, the boys played with their new IKEA road rug (so glad we had something fun and new for them). They rolled with things and actually slept pretty well.
So here's hoping for the road to open before checkout time!!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Bode Quotes
We (Bode, Keegen and I) were doing something around the house this weekend and Bode says "That's Super Duper Awesome". I turned to him and said "I think you and Keegen are Super Duper Awesome", to which he demurely replied "We're not as awesome as you are". Melts my heart.
Leaving Church this past Sunday Bode and I were riding home in the grey truck and Ashlee and Keegen were riding home in the van, this is how our conversation went:
Bode: (as the van backs out of the parking lot first) Mommy and Keegen are going to be first
Dad: Yep
Bode: Kadammit!
Dad: (trying not to laugh) Bode, that is not a nice word, we don't say that
Bode: Ahhh Daddy it isn't as bad as saying tree, you are not a good log. That is the worst.
Dad: (prolonged silence, really don't know how to respond to that)
Leaving Church this past Sunday Bode and I were riding home in the grey truck and Ashlee and Keegen were riding home in the van, this is how our conversation went:
Bode: (as the van backs out of the parking lot first) Mommy and Keegen are going to be first
Dad: Yep
Bode: Kadammit!
Dad: (trying not to laugh) Bode, that is not a nice word, we don't say that
Bode: Ahhh Daddy it isn't as bad as saying tree, you are not a good log. That is the worst.
Dad: (prolonged silence, really don't know how to respond to that)
Monday, March 17, 2008
Here Fishy Fishy
I can't remember if i mentioned that we inherited Angela's kids' betta fish. Since they're moving, they've had to find homes for two gerbils, one tweety bird (parakeet?) and a betta fish. They're keeping the dog but she's already living in Utah with relatives.
So. I was willing to take the fish. I'd toyed with getting the boys a fish as a first pet so it was an easy decision.
The boys dubbed him "Fishy" and I gave the boys some ownership by letting them choose a bigger bowl to move him to, choose new pebbles and nice it up with a plant. I fretted about the water temperature in his bowl since we keep our house pretty cool. I was assured by Angela that he is a hardy fish and that his water is always on the cool side.
I gave a lot of thought to the cool water and considered putting the bowl on a hotplate (at a very low temperature!). My sister suggested a heating pad. In the end, i ended up putting the bowl at one of my kitchen windows so the sunshine could heat it up somewhat. When i commented to Doug that the fish was stressing me out and he told me it wasn't something worth getting stressed about, my response was, "I expect living creatures in my home to be healthy and happy!" And this includes fish.
From the get-go, Fishy seemed a bit dull and often lifeless. Angela did say they'd had him about a year, which she thought was a long time. So, in addition to the plant, and in an attempt to perk Fishy up and make his home a happy one, we decided Fishy needed a companion. We bought an African dwarf frog. Yes, the boys dubbed him "Froggy." He's really fun to watch. Very active in comparison to Fishy. But i still fretted about the water temp and now fret about Froggy's welfare, too.
Yesterday, the boys wanted to see Fishy and couldn't get a good look at him. I spun the bowl around so they could see and realized Fishy was no longer with us. D-E-A-D. I quickly directed the boys back to their snacks because i didn't want to deal with death and dying right there and then.
After Bode's quiet time, i told him i needed to talk to him. I told him that Fishy died this morning. Bode's eyes got so big. I asked him if he knew what the word "died" meant and he said no. So i told him that Fishy's body stopped working but that the thing that made him alive (his spirit) went to Fishy Heaven. Is that too over-the-top? Oh well. I was sort of winging it. There could be fish in heaven, right? He said something about Fishy living forever and I told him Fishy had a good long life with lots of friends (including Bode, Keegen, Zeke and Froggy) and we just happened to get him at the end of his life (I was NOT going to get into the concept of resurrection and eternity!!;>). I asked if he wanted to see Fishy's body and he did. I asked if he thought we should bury him in the backyard (frozen) or put him into the pond on the golf course and he opted for the pond. He said something that made me think he thought that if we put him in the pond he'd come back to life, so i told him that wouldn't happen but that he'd help feed the plants (ahem). Anyway. He then asked if Froggy would live forever and i said no, but he's alive and kickin' now so enjoy him while he lasts (not in those words). I thought he took it all very well.
Tonight Froggy gave me a scare. Was acting very lethargic. I quickly (had Doug) scooped him out of the bowl he'd shared with Fishy and cleaned the thing out. Get the smell of death out of the bowl and give the guy a fresh start, right? He seems to have perked up. Now, does Froggy need a companion? We'll see.
So you know what put me in hysterics this afternoon? When we got home from church and i saw what Bode had done in his Sunbeams (little kids' Sunday School) class. The topic was "I Am Thankful for Fish." And they played a fishing game. HA! Quite the co-ink-ee-dink.
We are thankful for fish indeed. May you rest in peace.
So. I was willing to take the fish. I'd toyed with getting the boys a fish as a first pet so it was an easy decision.
The boys dubbed him "Fishy" and I gave the boys some ownership by letting them choose a bigger bowl to move him to, choose new pebbles and nice it up with a plant. I fretted about the water temperature in his bowl since we keep our house pretty cool. I was assured by Angela that he is a hardy fish and that his water is always on the cool side.
I gave a lot of thought to the cool water and considered putting the bowl on a hotplate (at a very low temperature!). My sister suggested a heating pad. In the end, i ended up putting the bowl at one of my kitchen windows so the sunshine could heat it up somewhat. When i commented to Doug that the fish was stressing me out and he told me it wasn't something worth getting stressed about, my response was, "I expect living creatures in my home to be healthy and happy!" And this includes fish.
From the get-go, Fishy seemed a bit dull and often lifeless. Angela did say they'd had him about a year, which she thought was a long time. So, in addition to the plant, and in an attempt to perk Fishy up and make his home a happy one, we decided Fishy needed a companion. We bought an African dwarf frog. Yes, the boys dubbed him "Froggy." He's really fun to watch. Very active in comparison to Fishy. But i still fretted about the water temp and now fret about Froggy's welfare, too.
Yesterday, the boys wanted to see Fishy and couldn't get a good look at him. I spun the bowl around so they could see and realized Fishy was no longer with us. D-E-A-D. I quickly directed the boys back to their snacks because i didn't want to deal with death and dying right there and then.
After Bode's quiet time, i told him i needed to talk to him. I told him that Fishy died this morning. Bode's eyes got so big. I asked him if he knew what the word "died" meant and he said no. So i told him that Fishy's body stopped working but that the thing that made him alive (his spirit) went to Fishy Heaven. Is that too over-the-top? Oh well. I was sort of winging it. There could be fish in heaven, right? He said something about Fishy living forever and I told him Fishy had a good long life with lots of friends (including Bode, Keegen, Zeke and Froggy) and we just happened to get him at the end of his life (I was NOT going to get into the concept of resurrection and eternity!!;>). I asked if he wanted to see Fishy's body and he did. I asked if he thought we should bury him in the backyard (frozen) or put him into the pond on the golf course and he opted for the pond. He said something that made me think he thought that if we put him in the pond he'd come back to life, so i told him that wouldn't happen but that he'd help feed the plants (ahem). Anyway. He then asked if Froggy would live forever and i said no, but he's alive and kickin' now so enjoy him while he lasts (not in those words). I thought he took it all very well.
Tonight Froggy gave me a scare. Was acting very lethargic. I quickly (had Doug) scooped him out of the bowl he'd shared with Fishy and cleaned the thing out. Get the smell of death out of the bowl and give the guy a fresh start, right? He seems to have perked up. Now, does Froggy need a companion? We'll see.
So you know what put me in hysterics this afternoon? When we got home from church and i saw what Bode had done in his Sunbeams (little kids' Sunday School) class. The topic was "I Am Thankful for Fish." And they played a fishing game. HA! Quite the co-ink-ee-dink.
We are thankful for fish indeed. May you rest in peace.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Take the Long Way Home
I have had many things i've wanted to blog about, but no desire to actually sit down and write. So i'm expecting this to be a long, rambly, stream-of-consciousness kind of post...
With one exception, I've always worked since having my children, but minimally. Daycare was not something we wanted for our kids and i wanted to be home with my children. But even before we got married, Doug and i talked and i told him i'd probably always want to work a little. So I would work a weekend or two a month or an occasional evening when Doug would take care of Bode. It was always good for me and good for Doug. A little time away helped me appreciate them more and Doug appreciated me when he had to be in my shoes two days in a row. Last February, after taking the year off with our move and new baby, i decided to work two days during the week for the first time since having kids. I wanted to keep my hands in my work and keep my skills current. And I started working because, honestly, i felt the need to "get out." I wasn't being a great mom--i wasn't happy to be home and saw those two days as a way to have a better balance.
After working like this for 9 months, I decided around Thanksgiving time that i needed to make a change in my work schedule. Somehow working part-time/two days a week was taking a much bigger chunk out of my weekdays. In the sense that i can only describe as distraction. I've been feeling like i've let too many things go at home. Not just housework. i felt like the boys needed me home. To those moms who work part-time or full-time i realize you can do it and do it well. But I began feeling like i wasn't doing it well. I can't seem to describe it accurately. But, bottom-line, working worked well for me for about 6 months and then i looked around and saw that my family life wasn't functioning like it should be.
I talked to my manager about making a switch to PRN, meaning i'd have more flexibility but still intending to work 1 or 2 days a week. It took the hospital about a month to fill my position and another month to train and as of March 1st i've been a PRN nurse and back to a full-time mom (well, i was always a full-time mom, but anyway!). At the time that i talked to my boss about changing my status, i really wasn't sure it was what i wanted to do. But i felt this gnawing, this need to make the change. I still liked going to work, it was good for my mental health, i liked the extra money i brought in. But on top of that "need to change," i felt like my life was a little too complicated and chaotic. So i made the change feeling ambivalent.
In the time it took to hire another nurse and train her, my sitter informed me she was moving. As Doug and i talked about our childcare situation, we both knew we'd never be able to replace Angela. She was a large part of what made my going back to work possible. I knew my kids were in a home that they loved. Where they were loved. Where they were happy. Doug commented that if we couldn't find another situation like Angela's, he didn't feel like i should work as much. And i completely agreed.
So instead of going PRN and still working 1-2 days a week, i am now PRN and working 2-3 days per month. It's been an interesting year in the sense of trying to balance things--getting kids to and from sitter's, finding backup sitter's at the last minute to cover for sickness, organizing, reorganizing, dealing with annoying hassles. An interesting experiment that taught me that i need to be home more to more consistenly guide and teach my children. I know that i'm lucky to be able to choose whether or not i want to work and how often, if at all.
Funny to me that 5 or so years ago, when i was desperate to have children and stay home with them, i told a co-worker in passing that i was ready to "be a kept woman." Totally tongue in cheek, but i had been working hard, full-time or more, for 7 years. Then three years after starting my family i was desperate for a change, a break, in order to appreciate them more and appreciate the opportunity i have to stay at home with them.
With one exception, I've always worked since having my children, but minimally. Daycare was not something we wanted for our kids and i wanted to be home with my children. But even before we got married, Doug and i talked and i told him i'd probably always want to work a little. So I would work a weekend or two a month or an occasional evening when Doug would take care of Bode. It was always good for me and good for Doug. A little time away helped me appreciate them more and Doug appreciated me when he had to be in my shoes two days in a row. Last February, after taking the year off with our move and new baby, i decided to work two days during the week for the first time since having kids. I wanted to keep my hands in my work and keep my skills current. And I started working because, honestly, i felt the need to "get out." I wasn't being a great mom--i wasn't happy to be home and saw those two days as a way to have a better balance.
After working like this for 9 months, I decided around Thanksgiving time that i needed to make a change in my work schedule. Somehow working part-time/two days a week was taking a much bigger chunk out of my weekdays. In the sense that i can only describe as distraction. I've been feeling like i've let too many things go at home. Not just housework. i felt like the boys needed me home. To those moms who work part-time or full-time i realize you can do it and do it well. But I began feeling like i wasn't doing it well. I can't seem to describe it accurately. But, bottom-line, working worked well for me for about 6 months and then i looked around and saw that my family life wasn't functioning like it should be.
I talked to my manager about making a switch to PRN, meaning i'd have more flexibility but still intending to work 1 or 2 days a week. It took the hospital about a month to fill my position and another month to train and as of March 1st i've been a PRN nurse and back to a full-time mom (well, i was always a full-time mom, but anyway!). At the time that i talked to my boss about changing my status, i really wasn't sure it was what i wanted to do. But i felt this gnawing, this need to make the change. I still liked going to work, it was good for my mental health, i liked the extra money i brought in. But on top of that "need to change," i felt like my life was a little too complicated and chaotic. So i made the change feeling ambivalent.
In the time it took to hire another nurse and train her, my sitter informed me she was moving. As Doug and i talked about our childcare situation, we both knew we'd never be able to replace Angela. She was a large part of what made my going back to work possible. I knew my kids were in a home that they loved. Where they were loved. Where they were happy. Doug commented that if we couldn't find another situation like Angela's, he didn't feel like i should work as much. And i completely agreed.
So instead of going PRN and still working 1-2 days a week, i am now PRN and working 2-3 days per month. It's been an interesting year in the sense of trying to balance things--getting kids to and from sitter's, finding backup sitter's at the last minute to cover for sickness, organizing, reorganizing, dealing with annoying hassles. An interesting experiment that taught me that i need to be home more to more consistenly guide and teach my children. I know that i'm lucky to be able to choose whether or not i want to work and how often, if at all.
Funny to me that 5 or so years ago, when i was desperate to have children and stay home with them, i told a co-worker in passing that i was ready to "be a kept woman." Totally tongue in cheek, but i had been working hard, full-time or more, for 7 years. Then three years after starting my family i was desperate for a change, a break, in order to appreciate them more and appreciate the opportunity i have to stay at home with them.
These past two or so weeks of being home 24/7 have honestly been positive. Challenging as always, but positive overall (to include serious attitudes from all sides and one impressively ruptured and oozy eardrum). I've been able to observe some of Bode's behavior that has me so concerned and be more consistent with our routines and schedules and rules that sort of got lost in the shuffle of my workdays. I've been busier than EVER. And i don't think that's an exaggeration. My calendar is full of doctors appointments, playdates, church responsibilities. (Church is a whole other topic that kind of got pushed to the side with the weekend call i've had to take and the evenings at work making participation in a lot of it slide).
I'm back to paying closer attention to my home and family and trying to make positive changes. One thing i'm hopeful about is Bode's health. I took a nap with him a couple weeks ago and was alarmed by his loud snoring and gaps in breathing. Definitely sleep apnea. I took him to his pediatrician and we are now waiting to see an ENT to see if his tonsils and adenoids need to come out. It explains a lot, his sudden behavioral downhill slide after he'd been doing so well. He's definitely not getting quality sleep and i'm hopeful that removing his tonsils will make a difference and get him back on track. I'm happy to be home again and be a resource to others--taking my neighbor's kids so she can make a doctor's appointment, getting into a new visiting teaching route for church. Happy to be working on my food storage again and getting to know some great women with the same interests who are helping me.
In general, it feels good to simply be "getting my house in order." All-encompassing. Not just dinner on the table, laundry done and house vacuumed (which we all know will NEVER happen all in the same day in my home!). But children cared for and taught, neighbors looked after when in need, family prayer and home evenings a priority. In my desire to expand or "grow" my village, i've realized i need to be available to be a fuller part of that village for those around me as well.
I still yell like a mad woman. I'm impatient and constantly worn out by my children. Those are some of my many flaws. But i'm hoping now that i've stepped out and tried to find my balance by working more and recognize it doesn't work for me, i can now throw myself more fully into this thing called stay-at-home-mommyhood. Because it isn't going to last long and i really want to do it well and enjoy it while i'm in it.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Happy 65th, Dad!
My dad turned 65 today! Quite the milestone birthday. He is in Utah now on the annual guys' hunt that includes Doug, my brother Drew and brother-in-law Mark. I'm jealous that they got to spend the day with him but happy to know that Dad has had a great day of hunting and fly-fishing and is just in his element.
They had a birthday celebration tonight with a special dinner and cake prepared by the hunting lodge's cook. Then they sat at the table and shared memories of Dad which included memories sent by my mom, sister and me. I really wish i could have been there to share in person and enjoy reactions, laughter and banter. Doug willingly gave me a play-by-play and it sounds like it was very well-received and enjoyed. Doug presented Dad with all of the memories in a nicely bound binder and it had pictures throughout. My sister and i gave Dad a really nice digital picture frame that i loaded with pictures old and new. Mostly of the grandkids, but some of us kids growing up and all that good stuff.
Below is my tribute to my dad. He is so special to me!
So many memories float through my mind when I think of a tribute to you. None of them earth-shattering or life-altering in and of themselves. But I think the sum of these memories tell the story of a great man!
I remember when we were living in Colorado and I was no more than eight. We got a huge snowstorm and schools were actually closed. You put me on your shoulders and carried me through the wind, snow and drifts to my friend’s house around the block. This has always been a fond memory for me, but now that I live in Colorado, I can truly appreciate how high those drifts must have been and how the wind must have been howling. (And that you had to do two round trips in order to get me there and back!).
I recall Mom’s first brain surgery and visiting her at Fitzsimmons Army Hospital. Obviously, you were concerned about Mom and showed great love and care toward her. But another thing I remember was a simple interaction in the hospital elevator. A young amputee was sharing the elevator with us and you carried on a simple, humorous banter with him. I think I remember it because as a little girl, it was shocking to me to see someone without a leg. But you showed me that he was a person who could probably benefit from a friendly conversation. This is one of many examples of how you taught me to treat people with respect and dignity.
Also, when we lived in Colorado, we would drive to Utah during the summer. One particular drive it was just Dad, me, Erin and Paige (maybe Mom was pregnant with Drew? I don’t know). Of course I remember the country music and the purposely obnoxious “Yi-i-i-i-i-ps” and “Yeehaws” from you. But on this drive, you got pulled over for speeding. The three of us girls sat in the back of that Caprice Classic station wagon saying all sorts of mean things about that cop for pulling you over. While I doubt you felt kindly towards that cop, you set us straight and made sure we knew you were in the wrong and that consequences happen.
You’ve always been supportive. I recall open conversations about the church when I wasn’t so sure about it. You were always willing to help me with the sports I was involved in. When I toyed with majoring in photography, you sent me to your friend, a professional photographer, so I could pick his brain. When I considered Army nursing, you got me connected with the chief of the Army Nurse Corps. You always told me (us, if I include Erin) that I could be anything. I could drive a tank, fly an airplane, be a doctor. The sky was the limit! I doubt nursing and teaching was what you had in mind for us, but I think it speaks to the values you instilled in us, that we chose people- and service-oriented professions. I always knew I was loved and that you were proud of me, and that’s always made a huge difference in my life!
I love you, Dad!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Direct Quotes
Driving home from Costco at posted speed (55MPH)
B: "Hey Mom!"
Me: "Mmmm?"
B: "Honk at that guy!"
Me: "Why?"
B: "Because he's driving too slow!"
Apparently the 2 years he spent with me in the DC area has stuck with him. My little aggressive backseat driver.
Conversation at Costco.
B: "Mom, when will my 5 birthday be?"
Me: "Eleven months."
B: "Eleven months?!
Me: "You just turned four, don't be in such a hurry."
B: "When will Christmas be again?"
Me: "Nine months."
B: "Well, Mom. When will Keegen be two?"
Me: "One month. He has his second birthday next month."
B, exclaiming: "One month?! Like one month?! One month isn't forever like everything else is forever!"
Remember when that one whole month till Christmas was, like, forever??!
Conversation between B and Z regarding Z's impending move to Utah which B knows nothing about
Z: "Bode, when our house gets old, we're moving to Utah!"
B: "Oh! Ya! We are too!" (Uh, no. Not in any potentially foreseeable future. Z is his bestest friend so he of course would want to be anywhere he is going).
Oy. (Did you catch the "gets old?" Gets SOLD). Funny kids.
B: "Hey Mom!"
Me: "Mmmm?"
B: "Honk at that guy!"
Me: "Why?"
B: "Because he's driving too slow!"
Apparently the 2 years he spent with me in the DC area has stuck with him. My little aggressive backseat driver.
Conversation at Costco.
B: "Mom, when will my 5 birthday be?"
Me: "Eleven months."
B: "Eleven months?!
Me: "You just turned four, don't be in such a hurry."
B: "When will Christmas be again?"
Me: "Nine months."
B: "Well, Mom. When will Keegen be two?"
Me: "One month. He has his second birthday next month."
B, exclaiming: "One month?! Like one month?! One month isn't forever like everything else is forever!"
Remember when that one whole month till Christmas was, like, forever??!
Conversation between B and Z regarding Z's impending move to Utah which B knows nothing about
Z: "Bode, when our house gets old, we're moving to Utah!"
B: "Oh! Ya! We are too!" (Uh, no. Not in any potentially foreseeable future. Z is his bestest friend so he of course would want to be anywhere he is going).
Oy. (Did you catch the "gets old?" Gets SOLD). Funny kids.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Okey Dokey
An artichoke by any other name......
is, apparently, NOT an artichoke.
We got our veggie box delivered today (a local organic service). They let you make substitutions if there's something in the box you don't want. Early this week, I looked at the list of things that would be in the box and was happy with everything. Then i got the box today. "What's with all this GINGER??!!" i thought to myself.
Jerusalem artichoke. Hmmmm. Luckily, Doug is willing to try anything. Me? Not so much.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Cracks Me Up
Last night i decided to have Doug remove Bode's bedrails (again. They've been removed before but our active/restless sleeper kept ka-booming onto the floor so back on they went) and just put the boxspring and mattress sans frame on the floor. Then i situated his bed against the wall like a daybed to make more room. He has a big but awkward room.
Tonight as i was making dinner, (REALLY overextending myself with the frozen TJ's chicken nuggets and frozen Spud Puppies AKA tater tots...) Doug was upstairs in Bode's room playing with the boys. I went up and saw that they were playing trucks and got down on the floor with the three of them while they played. I started picking at one of the dents left in the carpet by B's bedframe until i realized....
I was so totally ruining their fun. They had a few Matchbox vehicles (a Hummer, steamroller and ambulance to be more specific) and a couple larger vehicles (a monster truck and a digger). The smaller trucks were "falling" into the "holes" and the bigger trucks were there to pull them out. Keegen was yelling, "Hep me! Hep me!" when his went in and Bode would promptly push him out. Bode is yelling, "Watch out for that big hole. You will get stuck!"
Oh the teamwork and silly play just makes me smile. I'll speak for myself and say Dad's really do play differently with their kids. I don't think i would have come up with that idea for playtime!
Tonight as i was making dinner, (REALLY overextending myself with the frozen TJ's chicken nuggets and frozen Spud Puppies AKA tater tots...) Doug was upstairs in Bode's room playing with the boys. I went up and saw that they were playing trucks and got down on the floor with the three of them while they played. I started picking at one of the dents left in the carpet by B's bedframe until i realized....
I was so totally ruining their fun. They had a few Matchbox vehicles (a Hummer, steamroller and ambulance to be more specific) and a couple larger vehicles (a monster truck and a digger). The smaller trucks were "falling" into the "holes" and the bigger trucks were there to pull them out. Keegen was yelling, "Hep me! Hep me!" when his went in and Bode would promptly push him out. Bode is yelling, "Watch out for that big hole. You will get stuck!"
Oh the teamwork and silly play just makes me smile. I'll speak for myself and say Dad's really do play differently with their kids. I don't think i would have come up with that idea for playtime!
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