Break on Through to the Other Side

I cannot believe what I did tonight. We had a not so stellar day today. I'm tired. Bode is trying my patience to say the least. And I've finally started doing the whole Love and Logic method with him. Because I am out of ideas. Completely and totally lost. Somewhat out of control. In dire need of help and guidance.

A brief history: About a year and a half ago we were visiting Doug's family in Oregon. I was about 5 months pregnant with Keegen and Bode was just shy of 2. So, yeah, there were times then that he acted out and what-not. Anyway, my brother-in-law (Doug's sister's husband), a nice enough guy but not one I would consider in any stretch of the imagination a parenting role model, offered some unsolicited advice. That being Love and Logic. Since it came from him and pretty much ticked me off in the offering, I never really looked into it. And now here I am. And I think it might be what we need. I need help in not being so frustrated and angry with him. And he needs to relearn some boundaries. OK. So.

You may not agree with these methods, but please don't judge me. One thing in the book involves using the kid's room for a sort of time-out area. When a behavior needs to be addressed you give some empathy ("Oh so sad") and then "Looks like you need some room time." Take the child to his room say something like, "Take some time to cool off and when you feel better you can come out. Do you want your door open or closed?" If the child doesn't respond you then decide on that one and then when the child cools down for a minute or two go back in, hug and love and never lecture, and get back to playing or whatever. Bode does not stay in his room or in any sort of time out. He gets angrier and I get angrier and it's a whole ugly deal. So the book actually says, if you need to put a lock on the door then do it. And it's going to take a time or two of him being really upset in his room but I do think it will work. Because as of now I think we're in a downward spiral. I'd rather he be locked in his room than have me do something I'll regret.

OK. So. The lock. We had such a bad day today that I went to Target and bought a new door knob with a lock and installed it. We had some issues at bedtime (usually bedtime is pretty smooth but he's starting to act out a wee bit there now too) and I told him about the lock. I locked his main door and walked out. He went through his other door (he has a jack and jill bathroom so he's got two doors in his room) which I usually keep locked anyway because he used to disturb Keegen in the adjoining room (K has since been moved to a different room since they always seemed to be trading off disturbing each other) but this time it happened to be unlocked. So I went back in his room, had a little chat with the little man and out of habit, LOCKED THE BATHROOM DOOR. I then went to leave through his main door and realized IT WAS STILL LOCKED. Holy crap.

I got a little panicky. Felt a little sick. Took a deep breath. I opened his window and removed the screen, but no one was outside to ask for help. As I thought about it, even if someone was outside they wouldn't be able to help us as all of my exterior doors were locked. They could put a ladder to us but no one has a key to our house (Angela left her copy on my kitchen counter after taking care of the boys). No tools in Bode's room. No MacGyver tricks up my sleeve.

What should I do?

I kicked the bathroom door down.

No doubt this will be one of Bode's earliest childhood memories.

After I broke the door down I looked around his room some more. Maybe if I weren't so tired I could have come up with a better option? No wire hangers in his room. I wondered if i could have taken apart one of his toys that had a metal pin in it. Could that have unlocked the door from the inside? Ugh. I don't want to think about it. Something to add to the honey-do list...