I had a very difficult patient tonight at work. She came to me post-procedure and I was already aware of many of her issues from helping out the nurse who admitted her pre-op. In a nutshell, she has a really crummy life, including but not exclusive to history of domestic violence, restraining orders, financial issues, kids she can't care for how she'd like to, emotional issues and serious physical issues. She made it clear that she is one, who when stressed, will freak out and scream and yell and make a scene. Now, when I got her as my patient, in all honesty, i thought to myself, "I am SO not the right nurse for you" because i have very little patience for pathetic, immature behavior...As a former co-worker once said to me, i have a very "low BS meter."
Luckily, we were fairly quiet on the unit when she got back to us. I decided that the only way to deal with her was to baby her. I sat down and let her tell me all her many woes and repeat her woes over and over and over and over and over...Often times people just need to hear themselves talk, so I let her talk. And she really does have a crappy life. I can't say if she's at all responsible for it. I don't know if she's capable of doing more to improve her situation. I doubt she's into drugs (although who knows, I just didn't get that vibe from her). It really doesn't matter. Life has hit her hard.
I had to keep her for a long time to help get her pain under control. Once she finally got up to get dressed and ready to leave she was talking about her abusive ex and how she left as soon as he started to hit her. She commented that she doesn't understand all the other women who stay in those situations. I made a comment that "you were smart and know you are worth more than that." She scoffed and said something to the effect that she isn't worth anything but she has kids she needed to look out for. My heart broke for her. I responded very emphatically, "No, you are worth something. You just have so much garbage to sift through in your life that it's hard to see. But you are of great worth." I said something about some of the positive things in her life (her kids, her friend that was there to take her home). How sad to be so beaten down.
It would be so easy to look at her with her stringy hair, messy clothes, cigarette smell, foul-mouth, innappropriate behavior and just write her off, roll my eyes and not care. Maybe I let her suck me into her sorry little life, but really, I had the time to let her do so.
My biggest problems right now are a poor relationship with some neighbors and that i can't find my driver's license and credit card. I am healthy, I have a supportive husband, family and friends. I have a good job, a comfortable home, and beautiful, healthy children. I have people to talk to when i need them. I don't worry about affording the groceries we need or keeping a roof over our heads. I am loved. I know that I have value and worth. I wish that she knew she had value and worth, too. I know I can't convince someone of that fact. I guess i just have to hope that the interaction we had tonight was a bright spot in her very dark world.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
What a light you were to her Ashlee. Whether she knew it or not, God was sending her a message through you. I really appriciated your thoughts.
Sometimes I wander into parts of the world that I just don't understand, where people are really struggling and feeling alone, and I am overcome with how many blessings I've been given from Day One. Your childhood is such an important part of how you learn to deal with the world. A woman like this would have really intimidated me. I'm glad she had you.
Post a Comment