Good Advice

I'm not usually a big fan of parenting magazines, but i really like Wondertime. Anyway, I read these ditties in the most recent edition and thought they were worth sharing...

• Smile more; your face speaks volumes to your child.


• Three things to say more often: "Take your time," "It's not your fault," and "I'm sorry, you're right."


• Listen more, talk less--your child is the best teacher you'll ever have


• Care as much about other people's children as you do about your own


• Remember that kids don't learn by having knowledge poured into their brains; they learn by experience and through relationships


• Expose your child to noble people

And from an article in Wondertime that i felt was written expressly for me called "Bringing Up Bossy" regarding strong-willed children:

"According to Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, author of Raising Your Spirited Child, strong-willed children typically exhibit a cluster of traits we value in adults--intensity, persistence, energy, sensitivity, perceptiveness--that can make parenting them an intriguing challenge. Driven and persistent, these kids hate surprises, which get in the way of their goals. They don't like change, either--another goal-thwarting circumstance--and so may struggle with transitions. Because strong-willed children strive for independence but lack the social skills to finesse their demands, their forcefulness may come off as rudeness.

These kids may seem to like being in control, but they may have an underlying sense of anxiety. Counterintuitive as it may seem, strong-willed kids need structure to help order their world and allow them to be kids."

I was happy to read this--it took me a long time to figure these things out on my own. While i could think, "gosh, i wish i'd seen this a long time ago" i believe it was better for me to learn through trial and error. I don't know if Bode would agree, he may be scarred for life due to my frustration and lack of tolerance towards him at times (errors!). After a year of feeling like a horrible parent and that my child/ren deserve better i found that reading this was confirmation of what i already knew. It felt good to see that i had some intuition, that i had grown, and that i understand my child fairly well.