Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee

One happy little guy

This is unbelievable to me. BUT. Bode will be FOUR years old tomorrow! Hello?! Four just sounds so much older the three. And while it feels like he's been with us forever already, time has flown by since he was born and it really seems like yesterday that i held that little 5 pound peanut in my arms for the first time! Oh well. I'll save the sappy stuff for later.

Since his birthday is on Monday and i can't quite wrap my brain around when to celebrate it with friends (or if we will have an official "party"), we decided to take him to get his big bday gift yesterday. He is such a big boy (for real--tall and strong) he's pretty much outgrown his trike. And Keegen is waiting in the wings, more than happy to inherit that puppy. So we took him down to REI and let him pick out a brand-new big boy bike! Oh! Sorry! Excuse me! Bode is yelling at me that it's NOT a "big boy bike" but a TWO-WHEELER! Dur Mom! In fact, as we drove to REI, Doug and I started singing Queen's "I Want to Ride My Bicycle" and Bode made us change it to "I want to ride my two-wheeler bicycle with training wheels, I want to ride my bike! I want to ride my two-wheeler bicycle with training wheels, i want to ride it where i liiiiiiike!" Woo. I'm out of breath.

We walked into REI and found the kids' bikes section, filled with already-assembled bikes just waiting to be tried out. He knew from the start which one he wanted--the red and black Novara 16" Stinger dirt bike! He climbed on and gave it a test drive around the store (which i was informed after-the-fact was a big no-no. Heh, heh. Oops!). The look of glee on his face was priceless. I had another bike pulled down for comparison sake but he never waivered from his first choice. "No Mom! This one is my bike!" I can only hope he will always be so sure of his decisions...

Keegen wouldn't be left out of this fun!

Cheyenne Mountain Zoo

Ah. I love our zoo. And i finally got to share it with Erin and her chicas. Sadly, Fiona now has an ear infection to go along with her pinkeye, but amazingly she was awesome at the zoo even feeling lousy. We did a quick tour, just enough to give them a taste and want to come back to CO for MORE, right???

Holy freaking tongue!



Keegen could not take his eyes off the many many giraffes

It was FREEZING but being the true Coloradoans that we are, we weren't phased...Luckily most of the animals were in their warm cozy houses so we just ran from house to house. I love that we can feed the giraffes. What a fun thing. This was the first time i've fed them in their house. Not as fun as outside, but it was definitely warm. All the kids enjoyed it. Bode loved it this time. He seems to go back and forth from visit to visit, wanting to feed them one time and not so much the next. We spent some time staring at the lion family. Beautiful. Enjoyed my favorite house--the hippos. It's my favorite because it's so random. Hippos, pythons, penguins, komodo dragon and fish tanks. Like i said, random. But again, warm too. And then we ended in the primate house. Lots of babies (giraffes, lions, orangutans and gorillas) which is fun to see.



How gorgeous are they??!

We burned home and got some lovely numbing drops into Fi's ears which seemed to quickly do the trick. Got the kids fed (thanks Doug!) and off Erin and I went to meander around World Market and Target and then a late dinner at Chili's. I loved sitting and talking and laughing with my sis. Seriously good times. I'm not ready for her to go home. But i guess better to not be ready than be dying for her to get the hell out, right??! Ah. Never. Anyway. Again, i've loved having them here. They are why i miss Virginia.

Well East Coast Girls are Hip...

My sister and her girls got here late Saturday night and sadly will leave tomorrow afternoon. But we've had and are having a great time! I love love love seeing the kids play together. Fiona and Bode pick up where they've left off everytime. And now Keegen and Chloe really dig each other too. Other than the hard parts of the trip (the flight for them, the pinkeye, the not-sleeping-in-a-new-place syndrome) it's been great. I love having them here and wish they would stay forever and ever and ever...

But back to real life. We've enjoyed some tubing and lots of tunnel-time and bouncing in the basement castle. Erin and i got the entire day to ourselves on Monday. Doug took the day off and watched all the kids while we took off to Boulder. It was freezing but so fun. I love that town. And it was nice to be able to take our time and enjoy each other's company and not be interrupted by the kiddos. What a treat.

This afternoon we're heading to the zoo. And i think tonight Erin and i will go hang out somewhere really cool (like Target) since it's her last night here. She has to get a Jamba Juice before she heads home or her trip will be totally incomplete. So. There you have it.

Again, Erin, if you change your mind, we'll so totally finish the basement just for you and the girls! Think about it, OK???

Bliss

Start spreading the news.....

My sister has started her own little business. A bakery by name of Bliss. Delish. So if you live in the Northern Virginia/DC area and are looking for something different, need treats and don't want to make them yourself, want something better than a store-bought cake, look her up! She is a super baker with oh-so-yummy treats! Can't wait to do some taste-testing during her visit next week...

Check her out at Bliss Bakery.

Deja Vu

What started out as a pretty great day (well, once we got past the morning crankies and one major timeout) completely fizzled by 11AM. After his third potty "accident" i lost it. And i hate that i did. We seem to be, once again, back to square one with this whole potty training crap-o-la. Not only will he not poop in the potty but now rarely goes on his own and argues when we tell him to go. And inevitably he pees his pants while arguing or soon after. He threw a fit about doing his quiet time. He whined and carried on. He's been out-of-sorts lately. Ear infection? Bothered by his sensory issues?

I thought it was supposed to be a nice day weather-wise, but it really wasn't (and an "arctic blast" is coming in tonight. High of TEN tomorrow with windchills -15). So my original get-out-of-the-house plan was shot. i decided we'd go to the dollar movie and see "Bee Movie" but Bode kept complaining that it was "too far." Really? How does he know and why does he care? I mean, it's not like he worries about holding his pee or anything. So i decided against that since it was going to be work to get them somewhere that he didn't want to go. So. Errands anyone? Because we were in serious need of a change in scene.

We had a nice little trip to Wild Oats for a few groceries and then off to Target. The boys were pretty freaking hysterical in the back of that ridiculous 2-seater monstrosity of a cart. They were smooching each other and playfully smacking each other (first time i've seen that without any sign of aggression from either one) and laughing and carrying on. Keegen managed to sneak in a bag of mini-marshmallows and i was happy with a serious deal on fleece sleeper PJs for both of them. I let them play in the toys for a good long while. And then. Off to Ruby's.

Who-bees? Ruby's. It's a diner. I was not going home with these kids just yet. (Doug wouldn't be home till long after their bedtime). It has an elevated toy train track with not one but TWO trains going around and around, TVs with old school cartoons, stickers, car cutouts. And bonus, kids eat free on Tuesdays. So i splurged on an old-fashioned cherry coke. The kids waited well for the food. Bode was mesmerized by the trains. Keegen was demanding ice from my glass. Whatever works. The food came and i tried to engage Bode in conversation but he was so into the trains i let it go. At one point both kids were totally engrossed in the cartoons that i realized i shouldn't try engaging anyone and ordered another cherry coke and enjoyed the silence (well, the silence at my table at least). The kids actually ate just about everything (amazing). Everyone got their very own penny and on the way out the door we each got a gumball from the machine. Everyone was happy. So in the end, the day was somewhat salvaged.

We had our nice bedtime routine and the boys are tucked snugly in their beds. If i drank alcohol, i think i could really use a drink...

Priorities

Doug commented to me at midnight last night how funny he thinks it is that i get into these late night cleaning sprees. And stay up way too late. I was already up way to late the night/morning before on-call for work. And there i go making it worse getting going at 9PM on, not just cleaning, but cleaning out and organizing...

You know, when the kids are in bed and i can actually focus on tasks is at night. But i guess he has a point. I could start at 7PM instead. But at 7PM, i just want to cruise emails and blogs...Sorry i bit your head off when you made that comment, Babe. I know you were well-meaning! ;)

Kellie's Comment

I've always found my friend, Kellie, to have very good life advice. She's very wise. And she dispenses it in just a very down-to-earth manner. She's not looking to sound all profound, she just is. Her life is very much rooted in the gospel and she seems to see the big picture and how things, even the simple things, tie in so very well. Many conversations we have had over the years have stuck with me and i'm so grateful for some of the things she helped me see differently.

Here is her comment that she wrote in response to my "Greenish" post--"Hi Ashlee...I have been reading, just not commenting much. This is an impressive list, however. It is easy to be motivated when the reason is more than just political or out of fear. I love that it has become part of your cadre of homemaking skills. Frugality and provident living went the way of the dodo in the decadent 80's and it is good to see them coming back."

I love her last sentence! That is really what so much of "going green" is all about--frugality and provident living (but could i have formed that thought?? No!). We've all probably seen the little wall hanging that says, "Simplify." Growing up, it was a normal thing for my mom to keep the plastic bags from, say, loaves of bread, for reuse (maybe plastic grocery bags weren't standard then). Paper grocery bags were reused (colored on, used for wrapping boxes to be shipped; etc.). Aluminum foil was reused. Yogurt containers were reused for left-overs. And i don't think my folks spend much time worrying about the environment, but they've recycled for a long time. So i had to laugh at myself as i've had to make a conscious effort to bring fewer plastic bags into my home and start recycling again after our move. i had this "epiphany" that just about everything in my kitchen was already wrapped in plastic bags that i could reuse--bread bags, carrot bags and all that. Anyway. Kind of a silly example but in some ways i'm just going back to the basics. With "progress" and new technology, we have complicated things in some ways more than necessary. Do we really need to use toxic commercial cleaners or antibacterial soaps in our homes? No. It's certainly convenient and at a time it was probably a luxury to be able to stop using baking soda and vinegar and just buy a can of Scrubbing Bubbles (one of my favorites as a kid, although i was very disappointed that the animated bubbles from the commercials didn't come out and race around the tub, cleaning it for me!). My neighbor who recently joined the church was excited when i told her about the cleaners i've been making (guess what SHE got from me for Christmas?). She had been thinking about this issue and asked me "why isn't this something all LDS do?" I had to laugh. I mean, really, don't we have TOO MUCH to do already??! She feels like this is something that is right there with food storage and preparedness and self-sufficiency.

And i'm not trying to sound all preachy and obnoxious (i can't stand when people push their beliefs, whether religious, personal, professional, environmental; etc. on me as the only way, so please don't feel like i'm doing that here. This is just my blog and journal, sooooo). I'm just slowly figuring out what works for me. It took me four years to decide to change things in the way i clean. Do what works for you. If you want to make changes, simplifying or recycling or whatever, yay for you! Just take baby steps. Don't try to do it all at once. The little things do count and add up!

Ways that I've Gradually Been Going Greenish

I'm not trying to be oh-so-PC or cool or trendy. Funny how "going green" seems to be a trendy thing these day? I think that's great if people are really trying to decrease there various outlets of consumption and make a smaller environmental impact.

So i was thinking about the things i've done over the past few months to decrease my own "carbon footprint" and want to post a list here so i can remember. For the most part, I think these are very simple changes. I didn't do them all at once. And some took awhile to become a habit.

1. Bring my own reusable grocery bags when food shopping. I need to bump this up a notch and remember to bring my own bags when i'm going shopping for anything (not just food) to decrease the plastic bag pileup in our house (and in the landfills!). My favorite grocery bags are the canvas ones from Trader Joe's (super cheap and so heavy-duty!).
2. I also bring my own produce bags that i purchased on Etsy. If i had a clue about sewing, these would be easy to make on my own (but alas...). They fit more than it looks like they would and they are light-as-a-feather (so i'm not paying any more than i would with a plastic bag).
3. Make my own cleaning supplies. It ended up NOT just being a phase or a fad for me! Yay!
4. I've started recycling again--everything from paperboard and plastic, to aluminum foil and junk mail. And my old computers and electronics are going to the local "e"-dump soon.
5. I try to use more towels and cloths for cleanups instead of paper towels. I especially love the microfiber ones from Sam's (even better than the ones from Solutions, in my humble opinion).
6. I've always been a heat miser and now i find myself being a light miser, too. If we're not using the light it gets turned off.
7. We unplug what we can that's not being used--i.e. cell phone chargers, the surge protector that has all the entertainment center electronics plugged in, computers and their screens; etc.
8. Use more rechargeable batteries. I assume this is a good thing to do for our high-drain electronics (for the most part, our cameras and some of the boys' toys).
9. Similar to the non-toxic cleaners, i now only use fragrance-free/dye-free laundry detergent. Got rid of the liquid Downy and now use a Method fabric softener (one of their only products i like and think works well). I'm phasing out the antibacterial handsoaps and am using Dr. Bronner's castile soaps (they're a main ingredient in my cleaners). I like to have that instant-foaming action that a lot of antibacterial handsoap pumps come with so i've reused one of those (filled with the castile soap and water) and purchased a couple of these from Pampered Chef. I'm thinking about using the same thing for my body wash.
10. I've gotten rid of a lot of my plastic cups (for the supposed health risk they pose) and replaced them with just a couple stainless steel ones for each kid. It was so nice to get rid of the vast collection of sippies we had (and we gave the good ones to Goodwill). And i no longer buy bottled water (except for food storage) and instead carry a SIGG stainless steel bottle around with me, too (and Doug has one too).
11. I buy organic when it's available and affordable and makes sense to buy. I started buying organics a few years ago focusing on the "Dirty Dozen" list. It was easier to do this than just make a huge change to all organics. And honestly, i don't think everything has to be organic (i.e. a lot of tropical fruits are OK, blueberries are OK; etc., in their conventional form). I try to buy local, too (would i rather have organic celery from Chili (do they grow celery?) or conventional from Northern Colorado? I'd go with the local). I like to get things that are natural, simply to stay away from hydrogenated oils and high-fructose corn syrups. I'm lucky to be able to have a local dairy that delivers milk to my door. It's not organic but it's free of antibiotics and added hormones (and how fun is it to have milk delivered?!). And starting tomorrow i'm trying out the local Door to Door Organics who will bring me a box of organic fruits and veggies every other week. I'll see if we like it and if it makes financial sense. This is NOT to toot my little horn and say we eat oh-so-well and organic and nothing artificial. HA! We are far from that. But i'm trying to make better choices. Doug's working on losing some weight. And I want to pass some good habits on to our kids, and this is one way we try to do so.
12. With our landscaping, we've put in drought-tolerant plants and installed drip lines to minimize our water usage. This has never been a consideration for me until we moved to CO (since there's rarely a lack of moisture in the DC area). We even cut out at least 2/3 of our sod in the front that was landscaped by our builder and will replace it with more drought-tolerant plants in the Spring and Summer. This also cuts down on the amount of mowing we do which i guess is enviro-friendly (and certainly makes Doug happy). If we were really hardcore i'd look into a reel mower. Hmmmm...

Things in our lives that are not-so-green? I still need to replace a lot of our light bulbs with CFL's. I've been waiting for them to burn out one-by-one and can't decide if that's the way to go or to just replace them all now? Our toys are not remotely green. Lots of plastic. Quite a few battery-powered toys. But i'm happy with how much my kids play with these toys and plan on keeping many of them for our future generation (that's a LONG way off though, so we'll see i suppose!). Our house is not what i consider green. We live a bit rural and therefore have to do a lot of driving. While we do have EnergyStar appliances, decent windows and low-flow toilets, it's big and we still have a lot of drafts that need investigating. In my daydreams i see us moving closer in to a smaller house with solar panels, bamboo floors and wind power, but who knows. I won't give up my long hot showers anytime soon either. And my children are still in disposable diapers. Yes--that's plural. No pooping in the potty. Maybe if i reason with him and tell him it will help the planet?? So, anyway. That's what I can think of right now.

My next daydream that I'd like to tackle is that of helping my hospital system start a recycling program. As far as i know we don't recycle (except MAYBE corrugated cardboard) and it's making me crazy everyday that i spike 30 new IV bags, first removing all the different bags and tubing from their plastic covers, that i'm just throwing it all into a garbage bag when there's clearly a little recycling triangle on those bags. And that's just my little unit in my little hospital. So i've been doing some research but need to start by talking to our VP to see what, if anything, the hospital already does, and then show them what can change and of course show them how they'd save money recycling. Hmm. We'll see if that one flies.

I've noticed too with all of this environmental awareness, that my home feels better to me. The natural cleaners are a very nice thing. I have a few new plants here and there that make me happy (starting with an English ivy by my gas stove that's supposed to absorb some of those fumes!). Things just feel brighter. And while I still consume/buy too much, i'm starting to think more about those purchases, which if and when i decrease them, means i not only help the environment, but my wallet, too. Bonus. And maybe if i could get my butt out of this chair and off the computer, we'd decrease our children's TV watching, too! HA! A good one, I know!

Naughty

I mistakenly assumed i had moved these treats out of his reach. When i entered the room saying, "I don't think so!" his response was an enthusiastic "YUMMY!" as he reached for another...

A Sun-BEAM!

i have to give credit to Jenni for this picture idea! Thanks!

Today was a big day in the Bell Household...Bode is now a Sunbeam! He missed the cut by 28 days last year, so this past year he got the chance to finally like and be comfortable in nursery (hey, it only took 29 months!). He got to be there for the few months both he and Keegen were in nursery together to help Keegs with that transition.

Anyway. He was very vocal about the fact that he did NOT want to go to Primary, did NOT want to go to his Sunbeam class, did NOT want to be with the other kids because they are all "older than me" (HA! he's the oldest!); etc., etc. So i went with him to sharing time because i figured that would be the most overwhelming for him. He sat on my lap and i slowly transferred him over to his own chair. He seemed to enjoy the singing time, especially when it was a familiar song.

Then off we went to his classroom and i told him i needed to check on Keegs and took off. And by all accounts he did GREAT. I had no doubt he'd be fine once he was in the smaller room with fewer kids.

I asked him about his class as we drove home and he answered all of my questions with, "I can't tell you now, Mommy. It's a surpwise." Usually he'll at least tell me about what he had for a snack, but no dice. So i asked when he could tell me and he said when we got home.

Here's how the conversation went once we were home...

Me: "So can you tell me about your class now?"

Bode: "I had cwackers and we did wing awound the wosy!"

Me: "Oh! You did ring around the rosy? How fun! What did you guys learn about?"

Bode: "I didn't learn anything."

Me: "Did you talk about Jesus?"

Bode: "Huh...Jesus...Sho-ure (sure)."

All in all, a successful day, i say!

Wake-up Call

Over the years, I have taught numerous classes on various health topics. Funny to me because i so often feel that i'm not qualified. But somehow when someone gets wind that i'm a registered nurse, i get asked to teach everything from Girls Camp first aid to nutrition to CPR. Anyway. One that I've taught a few times is breast self-exam. I've taught classes during Enrichment nights and for the older young women's group and their moms. I've trekked to the local cancer society for videos, pamphlets and other props. They are always more than happy to give me all sorts of goodies to help spread the word.

One particular prop is the little gel bag filled with various "lumps" to pass around the class so people can literally get hands-on and know what one might feel like.

I've had my own lumps and had a couple surgically removed about 7 years ago. They were little benign tumors called fibroadenomas.

So, as one who is so well-acquainted with breast self-exams--not only did i teach a few church classes, but when i worked in an OB office i had a little schpeel i'd give--am I good about doing my monthly checks? Not so much.

Last month I had a lot of breast pain which is not at all normal for me. I did a little self-exam and wouldn't you know...a lump. And not like my other lumps have felt. This little lump made my heart drop to my stomach. It did not feel OK to me.

I went to my OB and he said i should go for a mammogram. He was very nonchalant about it. Nothing to worry about. Which is just how he is. Mr. Mellow.

I went in last Thursday to have the mammogram. Not surprisingly they couldn't see anything on my mammo films because of the density of my breast tissue. So i had an ultrasound. Up until that point, I really wasn't worried. Even after the technologist mashed my little boobs between the plates EIGHT separate times, I was pretty positive.

But the sonographer's demeanor was different. Very cautious. Very concerned with what she saw on her screen. She did my scan and then went to show the radiologist. After about 20 minutes of waiting for the radiologist, she breezed in, very friendly, but also very much down to business. She immediately took the sono probe and starting examining under my arm. Then I almost started crying and managed to say, "OK. Now you're scaring me because i have to assume you're looking for lymph node involvement. What do you think the lump is?" And she responded that she would tell me about the lump in a minute.

So I'm thinking, OK. I'm 32. I have 2 small children and a wonderful husband. And i have breast cancer. Happens everyday. Of course it could happen to me.

Well, the radiologist sat me up and showed me the different scans and told me what looked OK about the lump and what looked very abnormal. She said it did not look cystic but appeared to be solid. She said it was highly suspicious, i needed a biopsy and they would squeeze me in tomorrow morning (HA! No pun intended!).

Doug gave me a blessing the morning of the biopsy and i was surprisingly calm about the whole thing. I was met by a different sonographer. She scanned me again in preparation for the biopsy. The same radiologist came in to do the biopsy and the two of them looked at the lump and were excited that, with the different view this sonographer got, it looked possible that it was cystic. She would try to pull fluid out of it before proceeding with the core biopsies.

Well, she wasn't able to get any fluid out and went ahead and took four separate samples. They loaded me up with local anesthetic but it was still uncomfortable and at one point i felt very nauseous. After taking the biopsies, the radiologist dropped a permanent stainless steel clip in at the site of the lump to mark it and make it easy to follow should i need treatment or whatever.

After that i had to work (oh how i just wanted to go home and to bed!) and just wait for the results. I am a worry-wart at heart. If there's nothing to worry about in my life at a particular time, i create things to worry about. If someone is late, i assume a fatal car crash. In nursing school, i'd flip through the diagnostic stuff in my textbooks and was certain i had everything from lupus to schizophrenia. HOWEVER. I really wasn't worried. I really felt like things would be fine. I'd vacillate between it not being cancer to being cancer but a very early and treatable stage.

Last night I got a call from the Breast Care Center. I was told it is NOT cancer, that i need to have a followup ultrasound in 6 months and that the lump is some sort of abnormal tissue that indicates benign breast disease and puts me in a higher risk category (but still a low chance). I am relieved. I'm OK with the whole "higher risk" thing because I have always sort of considered myself as much with the slew of cancers in my family. I'm more than happy to go in and be monitored.

So, ladies. Add this one to your to-do lists. Do your breast self-exams. I know, I know. Your breasts are lumpy all over. You can't tell what's a concern and what's not. But that's just it. Do a monthly exam and then you can at least tell if something new has cropped up or something is different or something just doesn't feel right. We are all so busy taking care of everyone else. My kids get their shots, go to their well-child checks and all those other things. But my health? Back burner, baby.

While i know cancer can be totally random and not really preventable, there are things i need to do to take better care of myself. I need to make regular exercise a part of my life again. I need to eat a better balanced diet. I need to cut down on my sweets. And hopefully i can take this experience to give me the push i need to make myself more of a priority.