Breckenridge

As i already mentioned in Bode's bday post, we had a wonderful opportunity to spend this past weekend with friends in Breckenridge. And what a treat it was! I picked Doug up from the airport on Friday afternoon and we drove straight to our friends' condo. Beautiful drive to the mountains--i often miss the green of the DC area and this helped with that a bit. Lots of evergreen trees. The weather was perfect--blue skies, sunny and clear. Cold, yes, but when it's so sunny and blue I don't mind as much. Once we arrived and got settled in Kristen and I went to the grocery store and the kids stayed with Doug and played. That was one of my favorite things this weekend, simply that Bode had willing playmates at his beck and call the entire weekend. From sun-up to sundown they were at it. Aside from an occasional fight over a toy, especially when one/the other/both were overtired, Kate and Bode got along great. And Jack was too cute walking around saying, "Bode. Bode. Bode." I love watching these budding friendships at such a young and tender age. We had a delicious southwest chicken and bean soup for dinner and Kristen's husband Matt arrived late that evening which we spent curled up with our books, magazines and conversation.

Saturday morning we walked into town area and had a yummy breakfast at a local cafe. I love that we were able to walk everywhere. After breakfast we left the guys with the kids to explore a toy shop and Kristen and I took off to go snowshoeing! YEA! It was a major workout, much more than i'd expected (I can blame some of my breathlessness on the fact that we were at about 10,000 feet, but not all of it!). It was a really nice way to spend time outdoors. It was beautiful as we were in and out of the trees and looking out over a frozen lake and took in fantastic views of the peaks around us. I'd definitely do it again. AND it's only the end of January and I've already accomplished one of my 2007 goals! Woo hoo! I'll add pics to prove it once i get them from Kristen...

The condo backs up to a "ski-home trail" (I think that's what it's called). So it's a great little hill for sledding. We took the kids out there and had a great time. Keegen was too cute sitting in the little sled and Bode loved going down in the saucer. He even tried on some skis and gave it a whirl! For dinner it was classic swiss fondue (yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!) and chocolate fondue for dessert. Oh boy were we spoiled!

I already reported on Sunday's activities as it was Bode's Day. What a fun weekend! So nice to spend time with good friends and get to know them even better. It felt really good to get away for a bit!

Cross-country skiing in 2008, anyone??

Bode's 3rd Birthday

Bode celebrated his 3rd birthday on Sunday (the 28th). We were up in Breckenridge for the weekend and it was a perfect little day. My dear friend Kristen was smart enough to bring along a train cake pan--now how cute is that?! Yes, my decorating skills could be honed, but he thought it was great and it made for a much more exciting cake time than otherwise would have been...Kristen has 2 kids--Kate who is almost 3 and Jack who is 21 months. Our plan for His Day was to ride the gondola up and down as many times as we could, but unfortunately it was not operating when we wanted to do that (it hit a guy getting off so they shut it down for a bit). So we walked down to the riverwalk area and looked at the snow sculptures (the annual International Snow Sculpture competition) and Bode went down a snow-slide. We walked back to the gondola, but still no luck. So we went back to the condo for lunch and cake celebration and presents. Bode was so fun. He loved the cake. He loved the presents and kept wanting to give one to Jack to open, too. He was most excited by the rocket launcher Kate and Jack gave him and the kids had a lot of fun breaking it in.

Ugh

Why is it when we are going away for a little while that i am paralyzed and unable to pack? Why do i torture myself and end up staying up all night to get it done? Why must i procrastinate? Get it done already!

Good Day,Sunshine...Dum de dum...

What a great day. Really. I just sat this evening and let myself be happy about this fact for awhile. It was preceeded by a horrible night of naughty getting-out-of bed (Bode--he NEVER does this and i was already short-tempered since Doug is out-of-town). Once he finally settled in, Keegen decided he was up. Anyway. At 10 o'clock last night, after I got my frustration out by scrubbing the kitchen floor (while Bode was screaming in his room), I realized i had totally blown my plans for that day. I had intended to make cupcakes with him and get little gift baggies together to take to his classmates at school to celebrate his birthday (my baby turns 3--THREE--on Sunday). And I completely FORGOT. I even had it written in my planner, but did i consult my planner? So in my first-time-in-a-long-time sparkling-clean kitchen i made to-die-for cupcakes (the pumpkin with chocolate chips for the initiated).

Today was a day where i wish i could remember everything that came out of Bode's mouth because he just kept saying the darnedest things. Bode climbed in bed with me at 0430 but thankfully slept til 7. We started our day by frosting and decorating the cupcakes (decorating is a stretch--i let him shake sprinkles on them. i told him to shake it softly on them and he said, "i want to shake it hard" so we had LOTS of sprinkles on some). Then we stuffed little party bags with fun favors--a mini-Slinky, bouncy ball, pencil with a fun eraser topper, a siren whistle and a Dum-Dum. He really enjoyed filling the bags and when we talked about giving them to his classmates he kept saying, "They'll be so 'cited." I love that Bode-phrase.

We were finally on our way to school and i dropped off the treats/snack. When his teacher took the cupcakes from me, she looked at Bode and said, "Do we get to have cupcakes for your birthday?" He said, "Those are for later." He DOES listen to me!

He had a great day at school. Participated well, he even joined in on the painting. When i asked him what he painted he told me a "grasshopper-crocodile." Where do they get this stuff? I'm told the kids sang "Happy Birthday to You" to him and he just stood and didn't smile and kind of looked around (i can totally see exactly what he looked like in my mind). The cupcakes were a hit (as if that was a concern!). I went a few minutes early to help him distribute the gift bags in the cubbies and it was really very sweet. He was really pumped about giving the kids these 'prises (surprises) and kept commenting how 'cited they'd be and how much fun they'll have with them. We were still there when a few kids found the bags in their cubbies and had a couple really really cute "thank-you/you're welcome" exchanges. So adorable when two 3-year olds talk to each other so sweetly and when you see how excited they really were for their treats. I think Bode felt really good and happy about the whole day.

We finally pulled ourselves away and got in the van to drive home. That's where Bode's treat bag was waiting for him. I gave it to him and as he excitedly opened it up to pull things out he exclaimed, "I can't believe it, Mom!" As if he had never before seen those things.

We got home and had lunch followed by a nap for Keegen and quiet-time for Bode. Quiet-time has recently become trash-your-room time, which angers me to no end. But he wasn't too bad today. Afterwards, he went across the street to our new neighbors for a playdate and i had an hour to myself while Keegen slept! Unexpected but very welcome! After the playdate, I strapped Bode's snowboots on and put Keegs in the Bjorn and we trekked to the mailbox. Bode jumped with glee in the puddles from the snow runoff and ran through the remaining piles of snow and ice. He got wet and cold and was completely unphased! We then went to our neighbors a few doors down and gave them their Christmas gift (a Chuck-it to throw balls to their dogs--we missed them before they went out of town for the holiday). Our neighbor thought it was great, Bode willingly handed it over to her and we happily went home.

We hung out outside the house for a few minutes on our own mounds o' snow. I ran inside to get the camera. Literally ran inside the front door and came out no more than 8 seconds later through the garage with the camera. No Bode. Nowhere in sight. Total PANIC. I yelled his name and ran back and forth the front yard. My next-door neighbor yelled to me that he wasn't in the back. I kept running back and forth yelling his name. Is that all the time it takes to snatch a child? How could I be so stupid and careless? I saw a van turn down the street and memorized the plate number (611-KAD) and finally realized i needed to get a grip and stop and collect my wits. Where could he have gone so quickly? In a blessed moment of clarity, I realized he could have gone inside the house after me. I opened the door and yelled his name and sure enough, there he was. Relief. He said to me, "Mommy, what did i do?" He no doubt caught how panicked and wrapped-tight i was. I took a breath, crouched down to his level and said, "You didn't do anything wrong. I did" and gave him a big hug. Aaaaack. (this was NOT a part of said "great day." it was, however, fantastic to find him!).

It was only then, at 5PM, that the TV went on and Bode watched Dora before dinner. 5PM. It's been a LONG time since that's happened. We've had a lot of fights over the TV and i even put it away for over a month a few months ago and as far as Bode was aware, we didn't have a TV. So anyway, 5PM is serious victory.

Doug called a little later before the boys went to bed. He'd just left my sister's house after having dinner and hanging out (i'm totally jealous). Bode is not a fan of talking on the phone. "No thanks" is the response i get whenever i ask if he wants to talk to you-name-it. Doesn't matter if it's Grandma Di, Aunt Erin, Santa Claus or Dad. Not interested. Got the same response tonight but a little later i put the phone up to his ear and he willingly carried on a conversation with Doug, filling him in on his day, answering Yes/No questions; etc. It was great. Keegen joined in with lots of his own "talking."

Both boys are in bed. Bode put up zero-fight, zero-naughtiness, straight to sleep. He had to be exhausted. This was the busiest day he's had in a very long time.

I feel a little bad that i don't have a picture to share of Keegen from today. He rode in the Bjorn much of the day and i never considered the option of reaching around and snapping a self-portrait of sorts. Sorry kiddo. Here's one from a few days ago of you and your cute 'do.

I realized today was a great day for me, personally, because i not only had positive interactions with my boys (we still had the usual threats and having to count to 3 and i think one timeout? but all in all not too bad on that end either), but i had interactions with neighbors and friends and teachers and felt like a part of my community. I went out to get a hot chocolate at a coffee shop near the school this morning and ran into my friend's husband and son. I chatted with neighbors on our walk. I spent time getting to know my new neighbor better. It felt really good to feel connected again.

Keegen 9 months

Keegen, you are 9 months old today. Seems like yesterday you were this tiny little guy, but time is going by so quickly! Here's a quick snapshot of you...

• trying so hard to crawl--i love to watch you reach until you are on your hands and knees and rock back and forth...but then what?? You enjoy pulling up on things and stand for a really long time


• getting really good at feeding yourself Cheerios. I slip in bits of banana, avocado and cheese to make things more interesting for you. You love Ritz crackers and yogurt, too


• you're still not sleeping too well at night


• i love when i pick you up from your crib, especially at night. I sit with you in the blue glider and you immediately reach up and tousle my hair, almost absentmindedly. That is, until you realize you are hungry


• you love Bode and Bode loves you. If you are complaining, all Bode has to do is peekaboo you or give you some other kind of attention and all is well, for a second at least! I love when i catch you guys giggling back and forth--as if you're sharing a secret


• you pull at your ears when you are tired


• when you're laying on your back (especially during a diaper change) you still pull both feet up and play with them and suck your toes


• you are apparently done nursing. Just doesn't seem to be your thing anymore. You dive for the bottle when you are hungry and shove it in your mouth on your own


• you roll yourself onto your belly in your crib and scream in frustration when you can't get back to your back. Although, you can. You just won't do it. I know because i've seen you do it.


• you are a little dreamboat and i love you so much!

Dashing through the snow and other stuff

Today was a day for visiting teaching. We were supposed to visit 2 of our 4 sisters, but schools were delayed so we had to reschedule one. So the sister that we did see lives just a few blocks from me. Actually, most people in our ward live "just a few blocks away" from me. This is very different than what i'm used to having grown up mostly in Virginia where ward boundaries stretch for many miles. The vast majority of people in our ward live in our development. Just a few people don't and they are the ones who live on the 5+ acres across the little highway. Anyway, since we were just seeing the one sister, instead of driving, I loaded the boys into the double jogger for the trip over there. It was wonderful to be outside and even though it was only 30 degrees, it seemed HOT! Very sunny, clear blue sky, bright white snow. The jogger is great in the snow and i really enjoyed getting some exercise. We took the long way home and i felt somewhat invigorated. I wish i'd taken a picture of the boys all snug in fleece blankets and hats.

The VT lesson this month is about becoming instruments in God's hands. I really enjoyed the message that was written in the Ensign. Very positive, made me feel like it was a do-able thing, being an instrument and all. I'd like to believe there have been times that i have been there when someone needed me or answered a prompting. Reading the message made me think for a minute about people who have been instruments to me, in my life. Two came to mind immediately. The first is Sue Cooper, my bishop's wife in Columbia. I love this woman. She was there for me when I was at a crossroads in my life where I felt very close to leaving the church. I had just miscarried and felt like i would never have children. I felt lost and hopeless and angry. Lots of fist-shaking toward the heavens, shall we say. Not my best moment. So in the midst of this challenging time, i was still trying to attend my meetings. I was sitting in Relief Society, about to leave because i just did not want to be there. I decided to wait to hear who would be teaching. When they announced that it would be Sue I decided to stay as i really enjoyed her lessons. She opened the lesson by saying that she deviated from the manual a bit and I swear, that lesson was created specifically for me (and Sue didn't know i was struggling). In a nutshell, it was about how the Atonement is not only for helping us sinners but also makes it possible to take our burdens to the Lord. That may be an obvious truth to many but i just hadn't thought of the Atonement in that light and it was what i needed to hear. AND, i really needed a tissue that day, too. It was still a very difficult time and return for little old me, but that lesson and subsequent conversations with Sue began my turning point.

I don't know the name of the second person. We'll call her Spine Lady. I had to wear a back brace in high school and the day I went to be fitted for it was horrible. I wasn't prepared for the look and design of the brace itself. I thought it would be easier to hide under my clothes. This sucker had a metal bar down the front middle and two bars down the back connected to a metal ring around the neck, with two little metal supports on the back of the neck to prevent my head from flexing too far forward or extending to far back. It had a plastic corset of sorts that was tightened by a cloth strap. It was built to force my spine into a straighter position by pulling me/it up and keeping me in line. Lots of run-ons, i know. Anyway, i was horrified and downright pissed off about it. I had to put this monstrosity on and go down to have an xray to make sure it was doing what it should. I remember sitting, sulking, waiting for my xray. A woman sat down next to my mom and asked something to the effect of, "excuse me, but does your daughter have kyphosis?" I remember thinking not so nice thoughts about her nosiness and wanted to D.I.E. She proceeded to talk and said she had recently had surgery to correct her kyphosis and said the surgery was awful and how she wished she had had the chance to wear the brace as a child instead. To which i thought, "are you kidding me lady. You have NO idea what this is like." She took me into a changing room and showed me the enormous scar down her back where they'd opened her up to place a rod. As time went on and i wore the brace and gained a sense of humor about it, i was really grateful that she shared her experience. It gave me some perspective. When all i really wanted to do was take off that brace and run over it with my mom's car, i thought of her and what horrible pain she was in and I was able to carry-on a little better. I really think she was a part of a divine intervention. I was just sitting waiting for an xray at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. People with all sorts of different needs and ailments were there. And she was just who i needed to meet.

Resolutions

"My New Year's Resolution is to stop telling you what to do all the time...Here, I wrote down your resolutions for you."

Seems to me that it's time to list a few resolutions. Hopefully some that i will actually at least sort of work towards maybe accomplishing...

• Make a concerted effort to make dinner at least 3 nights/week. Are some of you laughing at me? No, i do not make dinner very often and need help, i know.


• Give Bode healthier snacks. This one will be much to his dismay. I've caught him too often hovering over a Costco-sized drum of dry-roasted peanuts or a bag of Lucky Charms. I will not let him always eat his continual 4-food groups (nuts, crackers, pretzels & chocolate milk).


• Take better care of ME. Eat a better diet and at least start WALKING again, for pete's sake.


• Read and discuss the Relief Society lesson each week with Doug. Pres Kimball was the prophet when i was born (i'm pretty sure) and i remember when he died so i'm truly interested in what he had to say (i realize i should be interested in what they all had to say but he's just closer to my heart).


• Be OK with it when i stop nursing Keegen. I think we're close and I'm not sure how i feel about it, but it's been 9 months which is super, so be happy with that.


• Start working again. This agency I went through is fa-lakey, so find something else and make it happen. Soon. There are things I want to buy, already.


• Find a babysitter. Soon. There are things I want to do and a husband i want to reconnect with!


• Get Bode's "First Year" out of its storage box and into a scrapbook. Then get over my need to do elaborate scrapbook pages (which has led to doing NONE at all) and just get the rest of the pics into books...But start with Bode's, like i just said.


• Be consciously grateful for something everyday and write it down.

I think that's a good start for now. We'll see how I do.

P.S. The cartoon above is in Cami's honor (Jake's list)! ;)

Puzzled

One activity we've recently rediscovered is doing puzzles together. We have lots of the farm animals/chunky puzzles, but for Christmas I bought Bode a 12-piece jigsaw puzzle that he immediately loved and now does completely on his own. We have a couple 24-piece jigsaws that still require some help on my part, but that he is doing more and more independently. This leads to lots of happy high-5's and "No, Mom, i can do it myself." Music to my ears.

White Out

Well, church was canceled today because of, oh, can you believe it? SNOW. Yes, snow. Snow, snow, snow. It's beginning to be a bad word along with the very bad word Wind. This is Colorado's worst winter in about 5 years so I'm trying to stay positive, knowing that while it does snow in the winter it's usuallyl sunny with blue skies the next day. The problem is I am used to being outside much more often and I'm running out of creative ways to keep Bode entertained indoors. Especially since he's not a big fan of "craft-time." Although, I'm not going to complain one bit about church being canceled (heh, heh!).

Right now, Bode is upstairs entertaining himself. He's not asking for me to come play with him. He's totally engrossed in his trains. Keegen is in the midst of a 3 hour nap (NEVER happens...poor child has a cold). I just put dinner in the oven (it will be lunch). This is the first time in too long that I've made a real dinner. Much overdue. And Doug is in the basement creating doors for the entertainment center. Lovely to have a few moments to myself! Bliss.

100 Things

So, taking my cue from Corinne. This challenge is right up my alley--being the lover of lists and all. As the Go-Go's sing, "I am a girl of 100 lists, what shall i where, to who have i kissed? check items off, there's nothing we're missing, item myself and my 100 lists." i could be off on the exact lyrics, but you get it. Here goes:

1. i was an Army brat and lived in Germany (as a baby), Virginia (N & S), Rhode Island, Colorado, Pennsylvania. My family has lived in NoVA for almost 20 years now, though
2. i went through a lengthy hippie/bohemian stage in high school and often heard my father tell me to "go hug a tree" when i bemoaned all the development in our area
3. with very rare exceptions, once i invest in a friendship i am there for good. i will track you down and seem to be the one to send cards, emails and phone calls to keep in touch. eventually i will give up if not reciprocated or if it's just time to do so
4. i am impatient
5. i am ticklish
6. i don't like to fly but enjoy a good road trip
7. i love eavesdropping on my son while he's playing/having pretend conversations
8. i love long, hot showers
9. i worry that i am not a good-enough parent
10. i learned increased patience through my firstborn
11. i am a slob--my bathrooms and kitchen are clean but otherwise i struggle
12. i am madly in love with my husband
13. i never imagined i'd get married so young (22) but i'm so glad i did
14. i wore a Milwaukee back brace at ages 14-16 to correct a spinal curvature (kyphosis). i was only allowed to take it off to shower and exercise. without that i would either need a rod in my spine or be a hunchback. just call me "Quasimoto." a tough age to be/look different but it really shaped who i am today
15. i have terrible posture
16. i was a phenomenal labor and delivery nurse
17. i was never more confident, outspoken and assertive than when i worked full-time in L&D
18. i often miss that assertive person!
19. i sometimes sneak in bed with Bode and can't believe how big/old he is
20. i am easily addicted to cross stitching and can stay up to all hours if i really like what i'm doing
21. i eat an atrocious diet (and there's no excuse as i know more about proper nutrition than the average joe)
22. i attribute my thinness to a wicked fast metabolism and lucky genes
23. i love watching Keegen "eat" his toes
24. i am hard on myself but think i'm pretty fair and honest in my assessments
25. i am self-conscious
26. i can keep a secret
27. my feet are always cold and i can't sleep without socks on
28. chocolate and peanut butter are the best combination ever
29. i played the violin beautifully until i put it down 10 years ago!
30. having children has made me much more outgoing
31. i think it's very important to have frequent girls' nights. healthy to get out and talk with other women in similar situations. we even manage to not talk the entire time about our children, potty training; etc.
32. i would like to be rich so i could be extra-generous to friends and family
33. i have loved African literature since high school AP English and have wanted to visit Africa since then
34. i would like to serve a welfare mission someday
35. i considered serving a mission for my church but decided it wasn't for me (since i really just wanted to go to Africa on a health/welfare mission, and, well, it just doesn't work that way!)
36. i will miss nursing Keegen
37. i wonder if we will have more children?
38. my first delivery was absolutely horrible. Bode and i were totally traumatized but pulled through it
39. i would definitely have one more if my pregnancies weren't so full of scary bleeding, contractions, and bedrest
40. my first job was schlepping bagels at the Bagel Bakery
41. my best job prior to being a nurse was being a park ranger at Bull Run Regional Park for 3 seasons
42. i was in the Army ROTC on a nursing scholarship in college
43. i broke my wrist while RUNNING
44. i had LASIK surgery when Bode was 6 months old and now see 20/15
45. i love a good pedicure
46. i am a good listener
47. i have an older sister and a younger brother
48. my sister and i didn't get along growing up, until she left for college. now, 2000+ miles apart, she is the one i miss the most
49. i love tulips and filled my previous yard with as many as i could afford to plant. they didn't grow as well as i'd hoped but i was happy with those that did come up
50. i love to eat out
51. i notice the tiniest details and have very acute hearing
52. i need quiet to recharge
53. watching "Grey's Anatomy" is my guilty pleasure, even if i do criticize their OR techniques
54. i love the moon and stars
55. i love that Bode notices the moon, even when it is up during the day
56. my mind is full of trivial facts and information. i rock at Trivial Pursuit
57. i love red shoes and silly tights
58. i dislike public speaking
59. "Because i Have Been Given Much" and "Lord, I would Follow Thee" are my 2 favorite hymns. The verse in "Lord I would follow thee" that goes, "I would be my brother's keeper, I would learn the healer's art" is especially close to my heart as it was BYU's College of Nursing's hymn, too
60. i don't have much of a singing voice
61. i yell too much
62. i used to be very Type A/perfectionist. Now i think i've done a complete 180...
63. i tend to give people the benefit of the doubt
64. i have a love/hate relationship with my TV
65. i enjoy scrapbooking but have a hard time motivating myself to get started again (i'm 4 years behind)
66. i am a good cook
67. i dislike Thomas the Tank Engine videos. They are so negative and we don't need more of that in our house! We've replaced those with Bob the Builder...
68. i've learned to go out of my way to introduce myself to people rather than wait for them to come to me
69. i can laugh at myself
70. i have a hard time turning my mind off
71. i overanalyze things
72. i'm learning to care less about what people think
73. i was big into photography in high school. i could stand on the sidelines and observe but still be actively involved
74. i still love people-watching. fascinating.
75. i look best with short hair, no matter how many times i try it out long
76. i have big, skinny feet. after 2 children i am no longer a size 11. i am now a size 12 AA. Oh dear
77. i worry about things that are out of my control
78. i feel lucky and blessed to stay at home with my children, but some days i threaten to go BACK TO WORK FULL-TIME!!!
79. i already miss Spring and Fall on the east coast
80. i already love Colorado summers
81. i like when people feel comfortable enough in my house to kick back on the couch or help themselves in my fridge/pantry
82. it takes me awhile to warm up in larger groups
83. people often think i'm a snob because of the above
84. i tend to have a few close friends as opposed to many acquaintances
85. i am somewhat claustrophobic
86. i don't do well on swings or things with funky movements (i found these things out at a recent trip to the playground)
87. i love to rollerblade, cycle and hike
88. i really want to start snowshoeing
89. i talk in my sleep, especially when i'm stressed
90. i almost always fall asleep when we watch a movie at home
91. i once wanted to name my children "Dakota Sioux" and "McKenzie Cree" (see #2)
92. i wanted to give my children Danish names (my dad's side of the family is Danish). so Boden is Danish. i couldn't find another Danish boy name i liked so Keegen is Irish ("little fiery one" which i think will be quite appropriate)
93. i've tried to learn to speak Spanish a number of times and ways and apparently i'm just really not as interested as i'd like to think as i still have yet to learn it (i took 4 years of French in high school, including AP, and can't speak it a lick)
94. i love love love the artist Graciela Rodo Boulanger and have many of her pictures hanging in my home http://www.gallerydirectart.com/bej-942.html
95. i have a black thumb thus killing any and all houseplants that enter my home (i haven't had any since i had children)
96. i laugh when people have accidents--inappropriately and nervously--i.e. when doug has slipped and fallen i laugh first and ask if he's ok later
97. i'm a recovering ebay and craigslist addict, now that i have a healthy internet addiction (blogging)
98. i am Bode's favorite for bedtime stories
99. i took it upon myself to teach everyone in the DC area how to drive (tailgaters especially)
100. Doug says i'm mechanically challenged i.e. assembling things. i informed him i'm just lazy.

So, there you have it. Not as hard as i thought it would be. I thought of things all day and scurried to write them down on scraps of paper, while driving in the car, before the thought was lost forever. I've enjoyed reading yours...who's next?

question--scroll down and then back up if you can't see this

anyone know why the text on a post sometimes doesn't show up?? i realize pictures in the text can affect it, but sometimes it happens when i only have text. very annoying...help?

A Day in the Life

Things to be happy about today:

• Keegen took BOTH naps
• Bode did his "quiet time"
• Bode got a haircut with very little fuss (thank goodness for kids' cuts places with videos and firetruck seats)
• had lunch out with a friend
• thankful for my friend(s)
• thankful for kid-friendly restaurants
• Bode thanked me (sans coaxing) for his post-lunch ice cream (I came back to the table with my ice cream after he had his and got a big "thanks mom for my ice cream")
• caught up with my filing
• caught up with bill paying, phone-call and appt making
• sent a resume to the new hospital for an outpatient surgery position (crossing fingers that the OPS center actually operates at times other than M-F day shift)
• had time to peruse everyone elses' blogs (always enjoy that)
• Doug will be home soon! YEA!

I have no witty title for this

Here is my excuse for the past few days as to why my house is such a disaster. I'm throwing a baby shower for a friend and have finally finished making the invites. These are patterned after the baby announcements i made when Bode was born, except i had my mom and Doug helping me. Much more work on my own. I feel the slightest twinge of guilt that i've handmade 50 of these for a friend's baby shower yet i couldn't manage to do the same for Keegen's baby announcements! Oh well, I'm definitely in a different place now than when Keegen was brand new!

Key to My Heart

We have a Cranium kids' game called Cariboo that has a little purple key to open the little doors that hide the little balls behind them. That key has been lost for quite awhile now, nowhere to be found. I've been letting Bode use a toothpick in its place (yes, i've been letting my 2-yr old run around with toothpicks...). This morning Bode would have no more of the imposter toothpicks and demanded a key, now, this minute, at 7AM. I was annoyed and was just going to let him work through it. But Doug, on the other hand, went downstairs and MADE the child a new key. With his saw and piece of a leftover 2-by-4. A little wooden key. In a matter of minutes. Happy child. Happy mom. I love that man.

Good Advice

I'm not usually a big fan of parenting magazines, but i really like Wondertime. Anyway, I read these ditties in the most recent edition and thought they were worth sharing...

• Smile more; your face speaks volumes to your child.


• Three things to say more often: "Take your time," "It's not your fault," and "I'm sorry, you're right."


• Listen more, talk less--your child is the best teacher you'll ever have


• Care as much about other people's children as you do about your own


• Remember that kids don't learn by having knowledge poured into their brains; they learn by experience and through relationships


• Expose your child to noble people

And from an article in Wondertime that i felt was written expressly for me called "Bringing Up Bossy" regarding strong-willed children:

"According to Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, author of Raising Your Spirited Child, strong-willed children typically exhibit a cluster of traits we value in adults--intensity, persistence, energy, sensitivity, perceptiveness--that can make parenting them an intriguing challenge. Driven and persistent, these kids hate surprises, which get in the way of their goals. They don't like change, either--another goal-thwarting circumstance--and so may struggle with transitions. Because strong-willed children strive for independence but lack the social skills to finesse their demands, their forcefulness may come off as rudeness.

These kids may seem to like being in control, but they may have an underlying sense of anxiety. Counterintuitive as it may seem, strong-willed kids need structure to help order their world and allow them to be kids."

I was happy to read this--it took me a long time to figure these things out on my own. While i could think, "gosh, i wish i'd seen this a long time ago" i believe it was better for me to learn through trial and error. I don't know if Bode would agree, he may be scarred for life due to my frustration and lack of tolerance towards him at times (errors!). After a year of feeling like a horrible parent and that my child/ren deserve better i found that reading this was confirmation of what i already knew. It felt good to see that i had some intuition, that i had grown, and that i understand my child fairly well.

My Ta-Da List

I, too, was inspired by Kellie's Ta-Da list idea. So here's a look back...

Ta-Da 2006

*Packed up my family and moved across the country to start anew in Colorado

*Managed to stave off bedrest until I was 28 weeks pregnant this time (a mere week after arriving in CO), as opposed to 20 weeks with Bode

*Accepted help from those who offered while on bedrest

*Asked for help!

*Delivered at 37 weeks (that's term, baby!) a healthy baby boy

*Had an AWESOME delivery this time

*Successfully nursed Keegen (still am)

*Actually enjoyed living in a 2-bedroom apartment for 2 months (until i went on bedrest and it was too small for the help that came to stay with us, but we made it work!)

*Made our new house a home

*Made new friends and kept the old

*Taught a class of 16 Sunbeams and I'm still alive to talk about it (and so are the Sunbeams as half of them are now my CTR's!)

*Learned more everyday about my boys and tried really hard to be a better parent with more patience, love and tolerance

*Cross stitched Keegen's Christmas stocking

*Dealt with Bode dropping his much-needed nap and successfully instituted "Quiet Time" making it possible for me to stay sane and keep blogging

That's what i can think of right now. Feels pretty good to see it in black and white.

Movin' on up

Keegs is desperate to start moving. He is often swinging his arms and scooching on his bum (only effective when on the hardwood floor!). Yesterday he started trying SO HARD to pull himself UP. So funny to watch. He first tried to pull up on the Little People garage. I moved him over to Bode's train table and oooooh, he almost made it but managed to pull himself UNDER the table and onto his back! So close! Today he managed to get on his knees (so he was sitting on his heels) and was able to swat a few things on the table. Much to Bode's dismay...This could be a problem! Oy...

A very long blog

For those of you whom i've let into my small world, some of you know that Bode has a mild sensory integration issue. I tend to be an intensely private person and it's not something i tell most people. It really shouldn't matter, but that's just how I'm wired (causing Doug to question me about why i blog when it's open to all the world!). This issue is something i noticed with Bode for a long time but didn't have a name for it. I took note and tucked it away in my mind. I just figured he was sensitive to certain things and I made efforts to minimize his discomfort (i.e. he's worn Teva sandals since he could walk, but he was often stressed when i put them on him and heaven forbid if a strap slipped and went between his toes. Another example is food. This is a kid who can dig in the dirt for hours, he used to play in the stream behind our house up to his ankles in mud, but the second something "messy" got on his hands he'd have a freak-out session. Didn't matter if it was yogurt or melted chocolate, he couldn't deal with it and shrieked at me to "get it off!".)

The first time I ever heard of sensory integration was when i went to sign Bode up for My Gym this past May. It was their grand opening and i was talking to the owner. I told her i didn't like that they had a basketball hoop in the corner because "that's all Bode will want to do." She looked at me and said, "Does he have sensory integration disorder?" Excuuuuse me?! You went from what i thought was normal 2-year old behavior--gravitating toward something he really likes to do--to labeling and looking for a problem? I was totally bugged. HOWEVER, it led me home to the internet to search what in the world sensory integration disorder means and entails and, well, it hit home in some ways. What added to my concern was what i thought might be a form of social anxiety. He struggled with things that should be fun (going to My Gym), he struggled with large groups, he struggled leaving me; etc, etc. I felt like he should be getting better at these things and the opposite was happening. I sat on it for awhile, thinking i was overreacting. I mean, I'm reserved, I prefer small groups or individuals, i like quieter activities so i thought he was just following after me. But over a short period of time i decided to get him checked out. I blamed it for awhile on our move and new baby and all the upheaval he'd been through recently. I talked to the PA we see at our pediatrician's office and she suggested a child psychologist. This psychologist was kind enough to call me and talk about my concerns and we decided that it would be best to start with an occupational therapy evaluation. So we did that and Bode didn't show any developmental delays (which the OT was actually trying to do so our insurance would pay for it) but he did show a mild to moderate SI disorder. He showed a very low frustration tolerance (I could have told her that!) and what i learned quickly was that because his sensory system is so, well, sensitive, that, say in the area of social concern, the problem was all the activity and energy and noise when he'd approach a situation (like for example going to nursery with the 20+ kids there). His system couldn't deal with the overload and excess input so he'd cry and get stressed and try to exert some control by putting his foot down (or more accurately, digging in his heels). Before this diagnosis i was especially concerned because he wasn't willing to try new things (activities especially) and he was very negative (NO! No thanks! I CAN'T DO IT!). It was breaking my heart that my 2-year old was already in such a problematic mindset.

We started going to OT sessions twice a week at the end of October. Specifically for the sensory issues like messy hands, we've been doing a brushing technique at home. Every 2 hours, I brush his hands, arms, feet, legs and back with a soft, plastic surgical brush and then apply quick pressure repeatedly on his joints of the same (hands, feet; etc.). Sounds crazy, but it works and he showed improvements quickly. Doug and i have caught each other's eyes for a silent "Wow...did you see how he dealt with that so well" when he manages something that used to put him over the edge. I haven't heard the mournful, "OH NO!!!! IT'S MESSSSSSYYYY!" in a long time. In OT she works with him with a lot of movement, somehow linking up the right and left sides of the brain so he can better handle input. I don't really get it and i certainly don't know how it changes his brain's wiring, but I am thankful for people who research and create this sort of thing, because it's working and making our home happier and mellower. He's done really well with preschool lately. He used to give them the same lines ("No thanks, I don't want to," or just scowl) and the last two or three times (he only goes once a week) he's done well and enjoyed it.

He still tries to be the boss. He was in the habit of saying no to most things for a long time. This included diaper changes and other all day-every day kinds of things that was enough to put ME over the edge. To compensate and try to keep peace in our house I would give him choices. Dumb choices but a choice to get the job done with the least amount of struggle (i.e. should we change you on the floor or on the bed?). Our occupational therapist suggested we stop doing that and be more matter-of-fact. We've done that and while it was harder at first, i see improvements there, too. Much less negotiating is going on. Constantly negotiating with a small child is exhausting and I feel better about my parenting skills. He's more willing to do as he's asked and he's even been heard to say, "OK, I will" and then he does! Fewer power struggles is a glorious thing.

I realize that some of this is just his personality and certainly his age. He's stubborn and strong-willed. I'm not trying to break his spirit, i'm just trying to make his future a little easier. I hope we've broken his negative-thinking before it became totally ingrained. He certainly won't do well if he thinks he can choose to not participate in school in the near future. He will have to try new things and meet new people. At a minimum, i simply want him to be able to ENJOY LIFE! To be able to join in and play and be excited. Maybe he'll always be a little more subdued but hopefully he will be happier.

Now, instead of the dreaded "I can't do it!'s," i've been hearing, "Yes!," "I sure did," and my favorite, "OK, I'll try!" He encourages me a lot lately, too, with "I know you can do it, Mommy."

School Days

The topic of "school" has yet to excite Bode. We've had a couple weeks off for the holidays and today it was back-to-school. I started talking about it yesterday so it wasn't a complete surprise. I got the usual "I don't want to go" and when i dropped him off he cried and cried and was so pathetic. But when i picked him up, I got the best report yet. Seems he had his best day yet. He chilled within seconds of my departure, it sounds like he participated (although he had no construction paper snowman to show for it as most the other kids did...), he joined the kids at the table for snacktime and proclaimed, "This is delicious!" with a big smile, and he was playing happily when i arrived (and gave me a silly grin when we made eye contact). I am so pleased.

I don't usually get much out of him when i ask about his school days, other than, "I played with the kids." But today he told me, "I cried but then i was happy." To which i responded, "I am so glad you were happy at school!" Here's hoping for next week!

When we got home he asked for the wrapping paper roll I confiscated this morning due to using it as a weapon against his brother. I told him that he couldn't have it. He asked for it again a little later and when i asked, "If i give it to you, will you play nicely with it?" he responded, "No, I will whack Keegen with it." Honesty of a child. Gotta love it.

Sadly, back to school. Now that he seems to be getting into a groove and doing well, I'm considering pulling him from this preschool. It came with such a great reputation and teachers who have been there for many years. It was sold this summer and we were told it would be the same other than ownership. Well, things are starting to go downhill with the new owners. Strangely, a divorced couple bought it. They've renovated the building, which was supposed to be the extent of the ex-husband's presence at the school. I've wondered why he's around so much and lately he simply gives me the creeps. Bode's teacher, who sent her daughter to this school 17 years ago, has resigned for a number of reasons. I love this woman because she totally understands Bode's personality and needs and what makes him tick. I will miss her terribly. For some reason she has confided a lot of information to me about the current situation. When i asked her if this school was still a "happy and safe place for my child" she HESITATED. Aaaaack! I feel like my own unsettled feeling along with that that i need to pull him out. I hate this. I tend to be a suspicious and cynical person so I've been ignoring the fact that i don't like this guy being at the school. But, now, well, what do i do? I really doubt something unseemly is going on or something bad is going to happen, but do i pull him just because i don't feel totally comfortable?

Kid Stuff

I woke up this morning and realized that we had no plans, which every now and then is good, but I usually need at least a gameplan to have a good day without too much TV and/or yelling...We had friends coming back into town and I decided the boys and I would go to Denver and pick them up. To make it a fun outing, we went to the Denver Children's Museum on our way. We've been there once before when the Brio train display was there. That has since moved on, but the museum has so many fun things for kids from 0-8.



First off, the museum is across the river from Elitch Gardens Six Flags, so Bode was awed in the parking lot by the rollercoasters (or trains, as he called them). The museum was packed. I thought it might be quieter but forgot that most schools are still out for the holidays and today was a day off for Gerald Ford. We first checked out the real fire engine complete with firefighter gear and lights. Then we headed upstairs where we spent most of our time. We have a train table at home, but this train area is just too much fun. We built lots of different routes that traveled from table to table. The hard part is that more aggressive kids kept coming in and taking Bode's trains. Bode is happy to leave other kids alone but for some reason they won't leave him alone! He used to not fight back but he's starting to do so, which i think is good. Fight is a strong word--he's starting to protest I should say. He finally had a complete meltdown and i had to take him away from the trains. We'd been there long enough so it was fine. It was fun while it lasted. I realize it probably doesn't sound like it was by my description, but it really was a good time.



After the trains we went downstairs to a large playscape full of pretend options. A kitchen, an apothecary where you can use a large scale and ring things up on the cash register, tree forts and hideouts and slides, a rowboat where you can sit and "catch fish," and all sorts of other fun things. There were all sorts of other things we didn't have time to explore, like the grocery store, the sports area (to shoot hoops mostly), an arts and crafts area, a builder's workshop and some other things that are hard to explain.


We headed off to pick-up our friends and the boys were beat. They were asleep before we got to the airport. And I enjoyed actual adult conversation on the drive home so I think it was a successful day for all!

Let Them Be Little

I realized last night that we had no plans for New Years Day. To remedy this, I invited our next-door neighbors over for lunch ("if you can get your rears out of bed by then" was how I asked them...). They are a really nice family, older than us (I'll guess she's about 40 and he's in his late 40's). They have 2 fantastic children, an 8-yr old boy and a 10-year old girl. When we moved here 9 months ago I had the best of intentions of meeting people and being social and inviting etc etc. Unfortunately, those intentions were somewhat derailed by bedrest and Keegen's arrival and the fact that i am who i am! Now that I feel some semblance of normalcy in my life I'm trying to get back to my neighborly, meeter-greeter plan! (HA! wish me luck!).

OK, so i really like these neighbors, but I somehow feel not so comfortable and unable to be myself around them. There is something about her energy that just doesn't put me at ease. Which is ridiculous since she is so very nice. I find myself saying the dumbest things or not having anything to say at all. We did meet just after I'd had Keegen, so can i blame it on that? The old "placental shunt" (shunting blood flow to the baby instead of mom's brain which doesn't improve until all children are out of the house) as I called it in my labor and delivery days. I'm just too self-aware/self-conscious with some people. I hoped by having them into our home and breaking bread I could get over it. We had a nice lunch, my french dip sandwiches and super-yummy crunchy salad followed by lemon bundt cake. Their daughter played with Bode--I love that. Some girls don't know how to play anymore by such a young age these days. Their son came over after lunch (he'd been at a friend's) and stayed for almost 3 hours (until it was dinnertime and Bode was close to meltdown due to no nap). I love their children for a number of reasons, but one that stands out tonight is that they are just that--children. Kids grow up so quickly in this world of ours and lose their naivite and, well, childlike nature much too soon. I love that an 8-year old can play with my almost 3-year-old all afternoon. Granted, they play very differently, but it works. I hope I can give my children a long childhood of fun and play before the world comes crashing in. Their dad is still a kid at heart, so that's on my side...

Party Animals

Ringing in the New Year! We don't have a lot of traditions for New Year's. When Doug was growing up they had a tradition of trying a new food with the New Year. They would eat either Chinese food or cheese soup in bread bowls. So last night Doug brought home some Chinese and we shared some bubbly (Coke) in my Christmas martini glasses. Bode chowed on the take-out! Loved the egg roll and chicken with mixed veggies. Then he proceeded to take the rice kernels that fell on the floor while he was eating and drop them through a paper towel roll until he had a nice pile. After the boys were in bed, Doug and i watched half of season 2 of Grey's Anatomy, my guilty pleasure. And then i was off to bed, before midnight. Doug had to stay up for the official New Year. I told him it's already the New Year in New York so off to bed for me.

I woke up at midnight, though, to neighbors lighting off fireworks. I also watched the fireworks go off over Pikes Peak, which was fun to see. Apparently a group called "Add-a-Man" climb up to Barr Camp on the 30th, set up camp and stay the night. Then they go the rest of the way and also truck up the fireworks for the celebration. Must have been a crazy hike this year with all the snow and a cold camp-out!

Regarding Keegen and his nightime awakenings, we had a little chat last night. I told him when i put him to bed at 6:30 that he was allowed to get up to nurse at 10pm and then he had to sleep until 6am. Well, he cried for about 30 seconds at 9pm, must have remembered our conversation and fell back to sleep. He was up at 10:01, nursed and went back to sleep and was up again at 6am on the dot! Oh, how i hope this is the beginning of a good trend!