Autumn Day, Bright and Gay...

This has been our weather the last three days. Yes, those are snowflakes. Thankfully, it's supposed to be in the 70's this weekend. Crazy weather though.

My Dilemma Continues

Thank you for your thoughts and comments on my previous post. I really do appreciate them as i try to work through what's best for Bode.

I observed at the local elem school yesterday. The class that Bode would go to should we move him. And i left thinking there's not a whole lot of difference in the level of learning/concepts being presented to them. I was amazed, however, at the organization of the classroom and the way the teacher managed the kids. All 22 of them and it was so calm. With NO AIDE (i asked about it and the teacher said "no aides in this district." Wha?). They paid attention. They seemed engaged. They quickly got back on track if one side-stepped. If someone misbehaved ( i actually didn't see ANY poor behavior, but something like yelling out an answer or not keeping their hands to themselves) it was very quickly and calmly fixed and things moved on without more than a hiccup. But overall--the learning? She taught them "Tt." They wrote a few words. Talked about the short vowel sound. Then they spent the typical time in circle talking about the calendar and weather. Singing a jazzy ABC phonics song. Read a book related to the color of the day. She gave instructions for their next project. Etc.

I left and decided he stays at his charter school. And felt good about it.

Then i spent 2 1/2 hours in his class today. Big mistake. I should have pulled an ostrich and just stuck my head in the sand.

Apples and oranges, baby. Night and day. So for 24 hours i decided that the learning issue didn't need to be such a huge issue. And now, it's really not a learning issue. Although some actual instruction would be welcome. But it's a classroom management issue, for lack of a better name. Clutter. Chaos. Disorganization. No flow to the day. No expectations. No consequences.

This was the day.

8-8:25--Morning Meeting AKA Circle Time. They went around saying their names in a game-like way. They talked about how they went to the farm yesterday (their field trip). Each child was to share what they liked best about it. Then she read a story. I actually liked MM because one thing Bode needs help with is speaking in a large group. Even just saying his name or "What i liked best were the tractors." But it seemed to be a long time for a morning meeting. There was a lot of time spent dealing with behavior, as was the case all day. And i sat for the 25 minutes looking around at the bare classroom walls with the empty bins and only a few crates of books and so much CRAP and clutter on the tables and shelves and had to control myself from cleaning up and organizing. I picked some garbage up from off the floor. And thought, wow, not a very stimulating room.

Then they were to find seats for whatever instruction she had planned. 16 five year-olds making a mad dash to 4 tables. No designated seating. No thought put into who sits well with whom. Is that too picky? I don't know. Finally everyone found a seat and...

8:30-8:50--they all had to raise their hands and say something they saw on the farm. She said she wanted some things listed on the board so when the kids write their thank you notes to the farm guide, they'd have some words to work with. 16 kids yelling out, waving their hands wildly to say, "Pig!" "Grasshopper!" "Vegetables!" Etc., etc. And what did she do with the words? Wrote each one on the board while painfully, phonetically sounding them out/spelling them. "G-rrr-aaaa-ssssss-hh-o-like-octopus...." It felt to me that it was just off the top of her head. Like there wasn't really a plan. Oh and it went on forever. Then they got their work. A worksheet. To listen to and follow instructions. Based on "Rr" words. Circle the rocket. Draw a carrot in front of the r-r-rabbit. This, in theory, seems OK to me. They need to follow directions. But the kids were ALL OVER THE PLACE. Talking to their neighbor. Drawing on their neighbor's paper. Yelling out answers. Getting up out of their seats to check out what was going on at another table. Throwing themselves back in their seats. And what did she do? Nothing remotely effective. I can't tell you how many times i heard Bode ask, "What did she say?" and i can't get mad at the kid for not listening or paying attention because COULD HE HEAR OR PAY ATTENTION WITH ALL THE NOISE AND RESTLESSNESS IN THE ROOM???

8:50-9:00--Readers' Workshop. Doesn't this sound nice? What they are to do is either pick a "wordless book" and a partner to "read" the wordless book with or pick a book to "read" on their own. The wordless book idea sounds fine to me. But Bode would never pick that option. Of verbalizing his own story with a peer. Especially when given the choice to simply look at other books. And you know what a lot of the books were? Those stupid, crappy books that have the sound effect buttons on the side. Seriously. So they flounced on the rug and looked at books. This could be a great break for a full-day class. But they'd been in school for a mere hour at this point.

9:00-9:10--Potty break.

9:10-9:15--"OK, guys, just keep doing your reading workshop. Only 10 minutes until it's time for media (computer)." She's totally killing time. Instead of reinforcing what they've "hopefully" learned this week about the letter Rr, maybe standing at the front of the class and teaching them (again i hope) how to write it or SOMETHING, she kills time.

9:15-9:45--Media time. They go to Starfall.com for 30 minutes.

9:45-10:00--Recess outside.

10:00-10:10--Snack. No handwashing. Major pet-peeve. But not my main concern today.

10:10-10:40--Writing Time. This was the thank you note for the man who gave them a tour of the farm the day before. She wrote, "Thank you, Mr. David" on the board and the kids were to draw a picture on their papers and then write those words and sign it. A small portion of the class was totally into this. They drew their pictures. They already knew their letters and were able to nearly independently write the sentence. Another portion was happy to draw a picture. And then there was the portion that didn't know how to write letters. Especially lowercase and needed a lot of help. Is it an appropriate task when they haven't been formally taught these letters? I dunno. But what i watched was that the class went right back into crazy mode. Some kids were done quickly, some kids took a long time, some kids had no interest, so kids threw markers at their classmates. Bodies moving all over the place. Lots of disruption and confusion. I have to say, Bode drew a killer tractor! But the activity? Very close to out of control. I tried to go around helping kids with the writing and complementing them on their artwork. The teacher sat at the front helping the kids glue their finished thank yous to construction paper.

I had to leave to pick up Keegen then and don't know what happened for the remaining 50 minutes (they stay 30 minutes longer on Fridays). On the board, for the final 30 minutes of the schedule is written "flex-time." Free play? More mindless stuff? I felt so unsettled. Is this a typical day? Does she just make it a point to waste time? Is this her way to manage the classroom? There are at least three kids in there who, in my own imperfect assessment, have some major issues and end up taking up a large portion of the day. And the teacher just doesn't seem capable or equipped to effectively deal with their behavior. And i thought about Bode's auditory processing problems and thought, NO WONDER when i ask him what he learned today, i'm met with a blank stare. For one thing, there's not much teaching. If there is any attempt at teaching, he has to work so hard to filter what's going on around him to follow what they're supposed to be doing. And if the classroom is always that noisy and disorganized, how exhausting for him to have to muddle through that each day. (My sensory system was frazzled). Yes, it's fun (recess, snack, media! and when not a media day, PE or music or art!) and he has lots of friends, but that's not all i want for him at school. He needs to learn that you're supposed to sit still at times. That you can't always just yell out your answer or question. That you can't always just get up and wander around the classroom. That there is supposed to be some sort of "flow" to a school day. That you actually do go to school to LEARN. NOT JUST PLAY. (And he was actually very well-behaved. Stayed in his seat except to ask to move when his neighbor wouldn't leave him alone. Raised his hand. But being surrounded by all of that random energy all day? Bleh).

I've talked to my sister who taught elementary school and basically rocks. I told her, while i want to just go straight to the principal , i feel like i need to talk to his teacher first. I would hate it if someone had a problem with the work i was doing and went straight to my boss instead of talking to me first. But. I hate any sort of confrontation. So, what she suggested was to go to the principal and ask for a copy of or to see the kindergarten curriculum. (And if they don't have one? Yie). Read it. Then go to his teacher for a conference. Tell her what i'm happy with and then voice my concerns and ask what her plan is for the remainder of the year. If it's a crappy conference/i still don't feel good about it/she doesn't have a clue and/or plan, THEN go to the principal and see what happens there.

And then. We just need to decide what to do. Long story with the same question at the end. Move him or leave him alone. My gut? A calmer learning/school environment would be beneficial for him. The change and transition period? Ugh. I'm a little on the lazy side, so that just sounds like work to me...

Dilemma--Seeking Your Opinions

Many of you know that i hemmed and hawed (sp?) over where to send Bode to kindergarten this year. We decided on the local charter school based largely on its smaller class sizes and more "hands-on" curriculum. We didn't get into their full-day program, but the school decided to add one AM class and that is where he goes.

I've been THRILLED with how quickly he got comfortable and how much fun he seems to have. He talks about recess and music and PE and media. But i haven't seen any learning. I've been reminding myself that i wanted him to just thrive socially and see that school and learning is fun. His teacher has never been a classroom teacher before. She got her degree 20 years ago and is raising a family with 5 kids. I've been trying to be patient. She just needs a few weeks to get the kids oriented. To get things moving. To get into a groove.

Well, it's been a month now. I truly don't see a curriculum presented to the kids. I don't see much structure. The occasional worksheet comes home, which doesn't impress me. When i ask Bode what they learned about today, he's stumped. At dinner last night, his answer was, "We just keep learning the same thing over and over." I'm not sure what that means, honestly. I wasn't worried before school started about the learning. I figured it would happen. And Bode is a really bright kid. A little advanced in some areas, right around average in others. Thus my bigger concern being social. But i'm not happy sending him to school where it's basically playtime. A parent pulled me aside to ask if i'd been in the classroom recently and she told me what she saw when she volunteered and said, "It's not good. They're being babysat" She spoke to the principal and he told her this teacher is working with a "mentor" and a "school designer" (?) and that things should improve.

I'm now planning to volunteer in the classroom next week to really see firsthand what goes on. And i've scheduled a morning to observe the kindergarten class in our neighborhood to see what they're learning/doing so i can actually compare apples to apples.

I spoke to a friend last night who has a child in kindergarten at the neighborhood school (and in the class that Bode would most likely go into due to being smaller in size). She is very happy with it. She told me about the different learning centers, the schedule, the good communication between teachers and parents. But what they're learning doesn't seem that impressive to me (one letter a week? That's why i want to observe. Do they learn those letters and write sentences or what? Because we're way past letters here). But overall, the structure and organization sounds excellent and from these basic beginnings i can see how they build on it over the year.

My dilemma? Assuming my fears are confirmed after volunteering in Bode's class and there is little to no learning time, do i move him? My child who struggles with change/transition (right before/after a new baby is born, too)? My sensory sensitive child? Do i move him from a class of 14 to a class of at least 22-25? Or do we leave him in a non-learning environment and deprive him of opportunities to learn in order to stay in a place that is comfortable and social? I've already been supplementing/teaching him at home 3-4 days a week. For the most part, i'm happy to do this. I figure parents need to be involved their kids' learning. But i notice that anytime i correct him (ever so gently correct him) he gets mad at me. Some kids learn/take criticism better from outside sources. Bode is one of those. And i don't know how well i'll be able to continue this little homeschooling bit after i have the baby.

Sooooo. Move him or leave him alone? Thoughts? Opinions? Personal experiences? Ready, set, GO!

********
As an addendum to my post, i found this post over at Segullah after i wrote my thoughts. i'm finding the discussion/comments to be very interesting. Different situation but still similar issues.

Check ups

So i'm far enough along to have a weekly OB appointment. Not that this is that huge of a change since with every pregnancy i've always gone at least every other week.

What a different pregnancy this has been. No cervical changes (with all those contractions!)!. No bedrest (even though i decided i really wouldn't mind some!)! Crazy.

You know what else is crazy? I weighed the exact same amount this week as last. To.the.ounce. Yes. My OB has an electronic scale that tells you your weight TO THE OUNCE. What kind of an OB is that that has a totheouncescale?? I just thought that was weird (the same weight). But i'm working on changing that for next week. What i ate today? I started out good--an egg sandwich and a smoothie. Then for lunch and snacks, i ate double-stuffed Oreos dipped in milk (getting my calcium). And most of a huge frosted cinnamon roll from Great Harvest. For dinner? i have a $1 Totino's pizza in the oven. And maybe i'll grab a Coke from the basement. My appetite? Hasn't been so good. I think i have a gallbladder problem. With Keegen it was kidney stones. Hopefully the gallbladder thing will just, you know, disappear, after i deliver. It can resolve on its own, right? RIGHT?!

More crazy? I'll most likely have a daughter outside of my womb in about three weeks. THREE WEEKS. And even though, as i've said, this has been the longestpregnancyinthehistoryoftheworld, that seems, uh, soon. But am i ready? Oh my gosh yes. I haven't slept, truly, in at least 8 weeks, and honestly believe i will sleep better after she's born. Let's just bring on that whole newborn phase and get to it and through it.

I chose to say three weeks even though i'm not due for another four because it is so very strange for me to not be worried about staying pregnant. To not worry about keeping them in long enough to cook and avoid respiratory issues and other preemie problems. It's my wishful thinking to deliver somewhere around 37 1/2 to no later than 38 1/2 weeks. So i now focus my worry on my 1) gallbladder and 2) that i will now be pregnant past my due date, thus growing an enormous child with an enormous head who likes to have her hand and arm over her face making what gets pushed out first that much bigger and that i will not be able to push her out since i've had no children larger than 5# 13 oz. Go ahead and laugh at me. Fine. My mental state? A little shaky at best.

This was a funnier post when it was in my head. I'm tired. That's how EVERYONE greets me now, too, by the way. "You look TIRED." Sigh. My pizza is calling me (my gallbladder is begging "NO!").

She's way cute, though, huh? Even with her arm across her face...

Check These Out

I mentioned that Bode got his training wheels off on Sunday and has been riding incredibly well. Later this week Kristen invited me and the boys to meet her and her son at the local BMX bike track. I had nothing planned and I'm always happy to have someone come up with something fun like this to fill our time! So, I put Keegen in the car, picked Bode up from school and took them to the "dirt track."


Oh my holy cow. Bode could hardly contain himself. We couldn't get the elbow and knee pads on fast enough. He took off down this curved dirt hill to get to the bottom of the track (i didn't see it, but saw Kristen simultaneously flap her arms and look at me like "ooooooh noooooooooo!" but he made it to the bottom unscathed!). The dirt track loop starts with a big downhill to a series of "tallest" hills, a curve to the next series of "taller" hills, a curve to the next series of "tall" hills, and finally, yes, a curve to the next series of the smaller hills. Our first day there, the boys stuck to the smaller hills. I brought Keegen's scooter and was surprised at how hard he was willing to work to get up the hills to get the thrill of the downhill. Bode took to those hills, like, shall i say, a duck to water? He loved them. No fear. Just conquered them.



We went on Friday, too, and Bode quickly went from the smaller hills to the taller hills! From level one to three in a day! Kristen and i joke that the boys have found their passion. They just love it. I was really floored at how well Bode handled those hills--with speed and he was able to take the curves for the most part. We had a lot of crashes, but almost every time he just said he was OK, popped up and got back to it. Kristen brought Keegen a balance bike to use this time and he loved it. He even got to take it home for a few days and it's fun to watch him cruise around on it.

I only took pics our first day (which don't give the hills justice), but Kristen got some video on Day Two. The first is Keegen working the balance bike:

Keegen's New X-Game Sport

The second is Bode. He decided to try the start point that goes down a super-steep hill. Turn up the volume so you can hear Bode and Jack's pre-run conversation...

Bode Has No Fear

Bode ends up catching air on the bump after the downhill and bit it. Hard. He was SO UPSET he fell and SO MAD at ME for not letting him try it again that day. When I showed him the video, i was laughing so hard tears were coming out of my eyes. He was quite offended since he got hurt in the process (that's what he told me--said something like, "why are you laughing at me when i got hurt?"). I had to explain myself a few times and tell him how incredible it was that he went down it and how he caught some crazy air. Maybe i should have let him go try it again right away, but i like my child in one piece!

What's Going On

• Bode's enjoying kindergarten and making new friends. One classmate lives maybe 10 houses away. We're working on playdates since he's home at 11am everyday. Too early for my taste, but...Still waiting for some learning to happen at school. Lots of recess and gym class and snack, but no reading, writing or math. Today was the first day he's come home with any sort of "work." It was the Letter F. Circle the letter F. Circle which word starts with the letter F. Trace from this side to this side. Um. This is the type of stuff i'm going to start with Keegen. Is this appropriate for kindergarten? I honestly don't know. I'm going in on Thursday to volunteer, so i'll get a first-hand look.
• Bode finally starts OT again today. We stopped the home programs during the summer and we've been waiting to get into OT since late May (after I decided against doing the STAR Center in Denver). I hope this will be worth the wait.
• Bode is learning to ride his bike sans training wheels and doing remarkably well. And he's so cute and excited by it! Doug took the training wheels off last night. Bode gave it a few tries. Tonight we added some elbow and knee pads that came with his helmet a couple of years ago and seriously, away he went without Doug hanging on at all. Such a big kid! And Keegen is freakin' hell on wheels on his (2-wheel) scooter. He's so small and wicked fast. It makes me laugh. He crashes a LOT but takes it really well (maybe because he's so low to the ground already??).
  
• Keegen had a good potty weekend and i'm crossing my fingers the forward progress will continue. He's staying dry at night which is great, but, I DON'T CARE about nighttime right now!! Let's seal the daytime deal, kiddo!
• Keegen started a tumbling class today at the neighborhood rec center. Two days a week and while he was uber excited, he wouldn't join in. Which is a first. He's usually the first to jump in. He did the same thing in church nursery yesterday. Between this and the potty issues, i'm wondering what's going on? What's bugging him?
  
• I woke up in a panic the other morning, realizing that i need to have some sort of plan when it comes to my delivery. I don't mean a birth plan, but a plan for the boys! This is when having family around the corner would be really really nice. It was so smooth with Keegen. Bode was only 2 and already in bed for the night. We called a friend down the street and Doug was home by 2am so she could go home. How will it be this time? I'm also feeling the need to pack a bag and i'm re-reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Little refresher. Nesting?
  
• I'm 33 weeks and woke up yesterday feeling like 43 weeks. Is this a third child thing? I've felt like i'm slooooooowly splitting in two and yesterday was THE WORST. I could barely walk. Lovely. I'm contracting a lot again but other than taking my medication every now and then, i'm basically ignoring it. My OB doesn't seem to care (i haven't been super psyched with him this pregnancy. I looooved him with Keegen. This time? Meh) and while my cervix is starting to shorten, at 33 weeks, they don't care. Hopefully i won't go in a week and a half and be dilated a bunch. I don't mind if i deliver early, but i'd really like to make it to 37 weeks. I'm cranky and worn out. Did i mention that?
  
• The nursery is basically done. I just need Doug to move one dresser out and put the other in. We kept it simple. I had all of these ideas but in the end we just painted it beige, put on a cute pink, brown and cream crib skirt, hung a funky Ikea light fixture, slipcovered the formerly blue glider and ottoman (thank you Overstock.com!) and called it good. Maybe i'll get some fun pictures on the walls, too. We'll see.
• Doug's company is being reorganized (it's been a very slow very painful reorg beginning LAST NOVEMBER). He's supposed to travel to DC and Florida sometime in the next two weeks after the announcement is made regarding his new position (the announcement that SHOULD HAVE BEEN MADE 2 MONTHS AGO!). I'm not excited about this. It stresses me out. I've told him to tell his boss (why is he so unnecessarily slow?) that he'll have to be my labor coach while Doug is away. And that he's a dead man if that happens.

That's all from shiny, happy me for today!

Bad & Good

Keegen was doing great with potty training this summer. He'd run and go on his own. Life was good. I put him in summer camp because he was doing so great.

So i just want to know, what happened?? He's totally disinterested. Resistant. Negative. Not even trying. I dropped him off at school today and 30 minutes after i got home, the phone rang. Preschool on the line. Keegen has pooped (in a Pullup) and he won't let us help him. I had a convo with the teacher telling her that he's regressed a lot lately. She said he just needs to be in big boy unders and as long as he is willing to try at school, they will be as understanding as they can. But that lately he's not been willing to try when they all go. I went to school, changed him, talked to him about it, left a ziploc filled with extra unders and shorts, had him pee, and crossed my fingers. He was dry when i picked him up but basically, he'll be kicked out if he doesn't get with the program soon. Which would really really be a shame. He loves it. They love him. Hopefully the help from school will be a real motivator. His teacher went on and on about how they don't want to lose him and that they'll do all they can to get him back on track. (My fear? Will we do this again after the baby actually arrives???????). I've taken him to the potty every HOUR and he's still had two accidents today. Oy vay.

On the good side. Bode-licious. He had a good first day of school. He's had all good days at school, actually. He's really happy. I'm the one with the doubts and concerns about the program. And the teacher. But today? Today the teacher gained some serious points. I was at the door to pick him up and she looked at me and asked if she could talk to me. Suuuuuuure, i said. For a split second thinking we were in trouble. Did he spit on someone? Tweak someone's nose when he felt threatened? (He's not usually a spitter. I've just noticed lately when he's anxious he has some inappropriate behavior/coping skills). Instead she said she wanted me to know that each morning they do a "morning meeting." Basically a circle time. They go around the circle, say their name and then ask the person next to them their name and something they like. It sounds like they have a certain way they phrase the question to their neighbor and a certain way they answer back; etc. She said all the other days (this is Day 4) Bode would say he didn't want to answer/talk/participate both verbally and with his body language. But today he participated fully, answered when he was asked his name and other question and then turned to whomever was next and posed the questions to him/her. I LOVE that she told me this. LOVE that she was excited to see this. LOVE that she knew this was a big deal. Very happy with this. I haven't even had a conference with her about him yet (i wrote a small note on a questionnaire at Back to School Night. But i have a letter to send about his Sensory Processing, too). Anyway. Very positive and i was happy about it. Gave me a greater faith in her.